Be here
by Ag-ro-tag
Summary: How could he know, that after so many years spent with his aquamarine eyed friend he would change so much? Aren't he supposed to be depressed after what he had done? His friend had been annoying him whole time... And he never left. Why now? ICHIGOxKAIEN
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note at the end! So all warnings!**

**STORY CONTAINS YAOI (BoyxBoy love) AND ADULT THEMES!**

"Be here..."

The world had become so troublesome, everyone was so annoying. Why so suddenly the thought of ending life came into his mind? These dark thought couldn't fade away. Even a beautiful sunset near the river in Karakura town couldn't fight deep sorrow that overcame his small, fragile frame. Moreover, the sunset made him feel even more down. 'It's really beautiful, but sad.' The words rang inside his head as the one, who had had spoken them was there no more. And wouldn't come back anymore. A light breeze coming from the water messed his short, brightly orange hair, uncovering his chocolate eyes, filled with hollow loneliness. Step by step, his legs moved slowly as his small eyeballs looked around, he was searching for an impossible. It was impossible for him to find what he wanted. As the sun was hiding behind tall buildings, the whole place was becoming darker and darker. But he kept looking for something. Someone. Somewhere. Soon he passed his limit. The sun finally reached the bottom and the whole place was dark, the river bay wasn't illuminated. His orientation also got lost, he couldn't tell where exactly he was. Deciding to squat for a minute, small tanned arms covered sad and tired face of 9-year boy, making his vision even darker than the rest. The winter school uniform, representing Karakura Junior High, wasn't enough to keep the small frame of the boy warm. He had neither will to go home, nor will to stay.

_'And what if I just go forward and jump...?' _

Heavy tears started to pour down his cold cheeks. He slowly got up and looked at no longer calm river. Waves crashed against shore, gaining in strength gradually. He made a first step forward. It was one of the hardest steps in his life. Even his lip got damaged due to a nervous biting. Another step. Probably after 7 steps he would reach the shore. He gulped thickly and, this time with a really emotionless face, he moved forward. Faster, but not fast enough to jump in a second. Left step... Right step... Left step... Right step... Left step... Right step... Left step... He could feel waves on his knees. It was the shore.

_'Only one step left... One, small step... And I might be able to see you...'_

He closed his eyes and tried to make a final step. Just one, small step that would change everything. But something strange had happened. The right leg didn't seem to respond. It felt as if the limb was glued to the ground. But not only that was strange to the boy. He felt an overwhelming sensation all over his body. A wave of great fear.

_'I won't be able to see my dad... my sisters...'_

A shadow of a doubt sparkled in his mind. The position he was in wasn't good. No, it wasn't good at all. It was scary.

_'Mom... help me...'_

A pained cry escaped from his lungs, through his throat, out of his body. It was a cry of suffer and terrible fright. His legs came back to life, but instead of the final step forward, they made a rapid withdrawal, bringing crying boy as far as it was possible from the shore. He ran to the biggest rock in place and sat down, closing himself completely and letting the drops of his eyes fall. Coldness, fear, hunger, loneliness – nothing was helpful or useful at the moment. Only crying gave him some sense of relief. He cried a lot after that day. And he preferred crying alone.

"Who are you?" The question was barely audible from all sobbing and coughing. The looked up, trying to recognize the source of asking, all deformed from a teary wall. Small fists rubbed his eyes rapidly to gain a better view. In front of him there was a boy, slightly taller than he was. He was dressed in a warm, winter coat and his face had a delicate shape. The sobbing boy noticed two shining, aquamarine spots, looking at him curiously. The stranger took off his hood, showing spiky, black hair, similar to the orange head of the boy, but a little longer. "Who are you?" But no answer came. He was sore, tired, hungry and sad. He couldn't find any strength to talk with unknown kid. "Are you okay? You shouldn't be here at this hour alone. My dad always says it's dangerous to wander around alone with no accompany of an adult." The orange boy covered his hears, instantly annoyed by the word flow from the stranger's mouth. He wanted to tell the other to shut up and leave him alone. "Hey, aren't you listening to me? So rude! You'll get into trouble if you stay here. You'd better go home." He didn't want to go home. How would he explain his constant absence in school to his father? He didn't dare to show his face to his family. After all, he was the cause... The cause that his mother... Another hot stream of tears fell down. He was crying. In front of a stranger.

"I... don't want to... go home..." He whispered so softly that the black haired boy barely caught the sense. It was pathetic. Pathetic to show his true feelings in front of the boy who he had just met. He was pathetic.

_'He probably doesn't even care...'_

"Why is that?" The other asked again. But, as expected, the answer never came. Thinking for a while, he put a hand on orange boy's trembling shoulder, trying to make an eye contact. The crying one responded, looking at the sea gaze with glassy eyes. Now the sobbing boy noticed quite long eyelashes, surrounding the aquamarine eyes. The gaze hypnotized him, he wasn't able to resist looking at the unknown boy. "Let's go to your home."

"No..." Finally the eye contact was cut and the chocolate orbs were staring at the ground. The boy hoped the unknown would finally leave him alone. To his surprise, the taller sat down next to him and was looking at the river disturbed by strong winds. The orange snorted in irritation, thinking of warding off the newcomer.

"Man, I'm hungry." The black haired started. "It's probably past the dinner time. Today is supposed to be a roasted chicken for dinner. Darn, that's my favorite. And I bet everyone in the house are eating it right now." He made a fast look at the orange. The one seemed to be irritated and sad at the same time. "Aren't you hungry? Or cold? Or tired?"

"Will you just shut up and go away!?" The boy burst into anger. This person was ultimately annoying, only babbling and asking stupid questions. Blinking few times the other shrugged.

"Negative."

"Then stop freaking being such a whine-ass!" The orange scowled, not amusing the black haired a bit.

"But you're whining as well. And don't say rude words!"

"I'm not the hell whining!"

"Yes you are. Inwardly." The stranger pointed out. It was a limit of orange head's patience. He was in a little state of depression and now that stupid jerk joined him against his will and irritated him greatly. He stood up and started to walk. "Hey! Where are you going?" The odd boy learned that it was no use to ask. He stood up as well and caught up with the orange.

"Don't follow me." He growled to the taller. "Go to your damn house."

"Are you going home already?"

"None of your business." That was some progress, the question wasn't ignored. Well, the answer wasn't what the black haired expected, but it was better than nothing. "I said – Fuck. Off." The taller made a dumbfounded face and inhaled in dramatic way.

"You're really foul-mouthed."

"So?"

"You'll start to cry if I leave." The orange looked at the black, whose face was no longer careless, but serious. It was showing a pure concern. From the irritating personality from before, this face was making the smaller really sick.

"As if I fucking care! I won't-" The boy turned in anger to face the annoying boy, but the one had already been leaving. The frame of the taller was becoming smaller and smaller. The orange headed huffed and kept moving further. He couldn't tell where he was heading to, but it didn't matter that time. The same feeling from the beginning came over him. He was lonely again. And sorrowful. He stopped his tracks and brought his hand to the tanned face. It was a battle. To cry or not to cry? He clenched his teeth, fighting the urge to shed a single tear. In the end the battle was over. And the boy failed. He cried bitterly, hating being alone at the moment. Hating this feeling of losing something important. Someone...

"BOO!" The orange shouted in fear as the similar annoying from before voice appeared from behind. To his surprise, the black haired, sea-green eyed , taller boy was in front of him, all flesh and blood. The orange blinked in shock, realizing his own appearance and rubbing his eyes in hurry. However, he wasn't fast enough to hide his swollen, salty from tears face. "See? I told you. You were crying."

"No, I wasn't! I wasn't!" Tears were wiped off the boy's face, this time facial expression showing an angry scowl and irritation. But inside he was... glad? The aquamarine boy sighed, this time with a smile on his face. He grinned afterwards.

"I hope you like roasted chicken!" The stranger said happily. "Mom allowed to bring a friend for a dinner. But there's a one condition. You have to give me your name if you want to come to my house, okay? Or else I'm gonna stay with you again and whine even more than before." The black haired giggled, though the other didn't respond at all. They were standing like that for a minute or two till something strange had happened. The orange headed looked at stranger, whose expression changed from happy-silly to... dangerous. "UGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, DAMMIT!" The taller grabbed orange locks and brought scowling boy's face right in front of his own. "I'm fed up with putting up with your stupid drama-deadly-emo behavior! No matter how many times I ask you, you never answer my questions! Have some manners and tell me your name or I'll beat your name out of you! Do you understand, you short damn idiot!?" The 'attacked' boy was completely speechless. He wasn't even aware of such a sudden personality change. The silly-happy idiot suited him better. The smaller muttered something under his breath.

"M-my name is K-Kur-"

"HUH!? I can't hear you..." The tanned boy paled in a second. The warm-sea gaze turned into cold-ice glare. It was one of the scariest things he had ever seen. A shake of his head snapped him out of his fright. "Well...?"

"K-K-K-KUROSAKI ICHIGO!" Instead of tears it was a sweat that covered his face mostly. The taller had been glaring a little longer before turning to his earlier self. The big grin showed his really white teeth that were almost blinding. Ichigo was freaked out.

"It wasn't that hard, was it?" The orange shook his head, still scared of the taller boy. "Well, Ichigo, I'm really pleased to know your name!" Kurosaki twitched at the careless way of saying his name. His first name was normally for his family and friends, not random weirdos. "I'm Shiba Kaien. Don't hesitate to call me Kaien, okay?" Ichigo glared at him suspiciously, but nodded anyway. "Now, let's go! I'm freaking starving and I know you're double-starving." Kaien grabbed Ichigo's wrist and dragged him out of the river shore. "Gosh! Don't slack up!" The black was 'literally' dragging Ichigo, who was really reluctant to go with the not-so-strange-anymore boy.

But had he had any choice?

Many years had passed after the 'odd meeting'. Accurately, 6 full years since Kurosaki Ichigo met Shiba Kaien. The beginning of their friendship was really hard at the beginning, due to Ichigo's lack of cooperation (or, to say easily, Ichigo didn't want to be friends with personality-unstable madman). However, the black haired boy managed to stick to the grumpy guy (though there were some moments, when he 'ran out' of patience). Yes, it was hard, but something cracked in Ichigo. Maybe it was a force of habit. Maybe he found something in Kaien that was quite likable. Maybe he was so lonely and only Kaien was able to cheer him up. Whatever was the reason, both boys were the best from the best friends and their friendship couldn't be torn apart. They spent whole 5 years together (in the first year Kaien had to put some bigger effort to preserve their relationship) getting to know each other. Kaien came form quite well known Shiba family, his parents were specialists in political environment, while Ichigo's father run the Kurosaki Clinic, place quite known for good care and professional treatment. They were equally aged and both of them had two siblings: Ichigo had got two twin sisters that weren't the same, tomboyish Karin and soft-hearted Yuzu, both 4 years younger; Kaien had a 2 years younger from him sister, hot-blooded Kuukaku, and 3 years younger brother, self-proclaimed badass Ganjyu. There were times, when both families decided to meet for a dinner. Everyone was laughing, shouting, destroying and fighting, but it was a really good spent time. But once, on usual meeting, Ichigo wanted to make a confession.

*Ichigo's confession*

The door of the Kurosaki Clinic rang. That night was supposed to be celebrated, it was the last night of summer vacation before Ichigo and Kaien first day as High School students. Every reason, even the tiniest , was good enough to make a family party.

"MY DEAR FAMILY! OUR NOBLE GUEST CAME TO OUR DOOR! LET THEM SEE HOW KUROSAKI FAMILY CAN NOBLY WELCOME WITH THEIR KUROSAKI SUPER KICK SPARLKE GREETI-!"

"Will you finally shut up, you freaking goat-face!?" While the head of Kurosaki family, Isshin, was about to open the main door, a small, black-haired girl came flying and kicked breaded face painfully, sending the old man to the very end of their house (crushing some walls in the process). "Geez, what a troublesome idiot... Yuzu! Are you ready?" She turned to her twin sister, thin, brown haired girl, who was in the middle of preparing dinner.

"The dinner may be a little late. Can they go to the living room for a moment? I-It won't take long!" Yuzu replied, she was a little bit ashamed that she wasn't able to make the food in time. "Ichi-nii! Can you come dow-Oh no! The stew is burning! Nooo!" Karin sighed, feeling a little bit sorry for her sister. She was the one who was doing all house work, also she was the only one who was able to cook something else than toasts and fried eggs. The tomboy decided to answer the door, she'd call for her older brother later. She pulled the door knob and opened the entrance, welcoming a 5-people Shiba family. "Good evening." She bowed her head in front of two adults , Mr Shiba Yato and Mrs Shiba Miira. The black haired woman smiled warmly and the black haired man laughed at the sudden act of politeness.

"Che, brute-girl is acting all girly. Eww, that's gross..." A female voice from behind adults' backs showed up, making Karin scowl in irritation. It was Kuukaku, Shiba's second child, a girl who absolutely loved getting on the youngest Kurosaki's nerves. The 13-year old combed her long, pitch-black hair with her fingers and smirked at the tomboyish girl. "If you'd like to, I'm offering some lessons of woman charm for only 200 yen per hour. Consider it, flat-chest shorty."

"I don't need to, you big-boobed transvestite. At least I don't look like a prostitute." Karin growled at the flashy dressed older.

"Now, girls, girls. There's no need to argue now. Why won't you become good friends?" Mr Shiba tried his best to calm girls down, but was rewarded with a loud 'Che!' from both of them. He failed to do anything and grabbed old woman's arm to cry heavily. His wife, of course, pitied him. From behind two other heads appeared. There was a small, black haired kid with rectangular shape of face and not so pretty features. He was holding a small guinea-pig with a big, red ribbon wrapped around its neck. Behind him was standing the oldest of siblings, Kaien Shiba. Through all years he grew up rapidly and became even more gorgeous. The youngest, Ganjyu, idolized his brother and wanted to become as cool as him when he grew up.

"Please, come inside the living room, the dinner is almost ready." Karin invited the guests to her house, meanwhile glaring at the female sibling. Yuzu greeted the Shiba family from the kitchen and Isshin, fully recovered after being kicked, hugged tightly his old friends. Kuukaku occupied the sofa and Ganjyu went to talk with Yuzu. Only Kaien was a little bit confused.

"Karin, where can I find Ichigo?" The black haired High School student asked young Kurosaki.

"He's probably upstairs, I was going to get him down." she answered, but Shiba only waved at her.

"No need to. I'll get him myself" He grinned hugely and headed towards Kurosaki Ichigo's room. It was easy for him to find the right door, after all he had been coming here for 6 years and staying in the house sometimes for many nights. They were the best friends. He slowly pushed the knob and took a peek at the room. The room was as messy as always, that drove Kaien mad, 'cause every time he was sleeping over Ichigo's, he always had to clean the room. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to find some free space to sleep. The door was opened more widely and now Kaien was facing fully the room. His target was a sleeping teenager, completely covered in blanked, with only few orange locks coming out. The intruder walked to the bed and partly pulled the blanket down, uncovering the face. Ichigo had grown really manly, in Kaien's opinion, and even got taller than him. Kaien sighed at the memory, when it was him, who was the tallest. He smiled at the cute sight of his sleeping friend and had no heart to wake him up. On the other hand, it'd be better if it was him, otherwise, the one, who would like to wake the orange head up, would be his hyper-excited-violent father. Kaien shivered in fright and shook Ichigo's arm gently. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty. It's time to wake up." The sleeping one moved a little bit, but hadn't done anything more. Kaien started to rub his ear. "Come on. Come on. Open your eyes." Ichigo was wriggling, trying to get rid of something that was tickling his hear. When moving wasn't enough, he groaned loudly and covered his head with a pillow. Kaien huffed in frustration, slowly reaching his limit of patience. He found a glass and a bottle of water. Joining them together, he got a glass of water. With a bigger force he grabbed the pillow, uncovered Ichigo's face and poured the water down.

"GYAAAA! WHAT THE HELL!?" Ichigo sat up instantly when he felt liquid all over his face, clothes and bed. He noticed that there was an extra person in his room that was laughing at the wet boy. "KAIEN! YOU MORON! WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!?" The oldest Kurosaki sibling wasn't in a mood at all, but that only made Kaien laugh even more painfully. He really loved making Ichigo mad.

"Well, it's dinner time and I came to get you downstairs." Kaien replied.

"But getting me down doesn't mean soaking me in my bed!"

"Oh really? I don't see the difference." Kaien grinned to Ichigo's bigger annoyance. For 7 years the orange had been asking himself why he had been hanging around with such an unnerving idiot that had unpredictable mood swings. No answer had come and he was still doing the same thing. Getting on with Kaien. "You should be thankful that it was me or else your father would make another hole in your ceiling and beat you up."

"Heh, as if I would let the goat-face beat me in my sleep. Pass me my towel, Kaien." Kaien sighed at the command, but did what was asked. "Ok, now go, I need to change."

"Huh?" Kaien blinked, not understanding what Ichigo had just said.

"Are you deaf or stupid? Go out of my room, so I'll be able to change into my dry clothes, because those I'm wearing are wet!" Ichigo explained in irritation and noticed his friend was staring at him in awe. "Dammit! Do you know that there's a thing that exists and it's called a damn 'privacy'!?"

"I know what a damn privacy is." Kaien pouted angrily. "The fact that's freaking me out the most is that YOU make a use of this word. As far as I remember when I was the one to dress up, you were always sitting and waiting for me to change WHILE looking at me."

"It was really long time ago!" Ichigo protested.

"Ages! About a week ago, before we two went to the cinema." Sarcasm was oozing out of Kaien's words. "What has gotten into you today? Are you making some mental changes?"

"Fine! Shut up and let me dress up." And the conversation was over. Sure, Ichigo knew he wasn't giving any privacy to Kaien, but last time something made him different. He felt totally different. He was too ashamed to reveal his own, well-muscled body, but there was no shadow of embarrassment, when he was looking at other bare chests, arms, legs or even... No, the last thing was making his face flamingly red and his skull couldn't bear too much of blood pressure. At first it it might be seemed like a normal behavior for boy... if it was about girls. But it were men's bodies that made him look in desire and embarrassment. He felt ashamed every time he carved for some boy. Especially once, when he had got what he wanted (Ichigo lost his virginity really long time ago). The 'gay environment' knew Ichigo pretty well, even his friends were aware of his sexual orientation. All of them, but not Kaien. The orange was too scared to confess such a thing, he was knew Kaien would get really mad that he hadn't told him earlier. Moreover, telling his best friend about his several one-night stands might end with his death. Or even worse, he might get disgusted and stop seeing him. His actions were probably unfair for Kaien, but he wasn't sure himself why he had done such a things. Ichigo grabbed his shirt and pulled it off, showing his fruit of years of training karate. He was rewarded with a whistle from Kaien.

"Fu fu~! Look at your sexy body, you beast~!" Ichigo blushed instantly and turned his back on the friend.

"You moron, what the fuck!? Stop it! Are you gay or something!?" The orange asked, but regretted it later. Who he was to say such a thing?

"Well, just by looking at you makes me think of being gay." Kaien laughed jokingly, with absolute no meaning of his words. The jolly atmosphere was quickly disturbed, when the black haired noticed his friend wasn't in a good mood. Ichigo seemed to be depressed. And Kaien hated, when his friend was like that. "H-Hey, Ichigo. Is everything alright?" The tanned teenager reached his wardrobe and took a long-sleeved, black shirt with white sleeves. Throughout dressing he was thinking his depressive thoughts. Kaien's attention was drawn on him and he had to fide a way to escape from the situation. It was either change of the topic or faking being normal or... or just telling the truth. He sighed and tensed when he felt a hand on his back. His friend looked really concerned. "You know, I'm sorry if I said something... um... inappropriate?" Kaien spoke, though in his mind he couldn't figure out what he had said wrongly.

"No, it's nothing. It's just me." Maybe it was time for Ichigo to stop hiding his secret.

"What's about you?" The black haired wasn't prepared for such a situation. He thought that Ichigo would just get dressed and that they would go downstairs, where both families were waiting for them.

"Umm... I..." Ichigo's throat was stuck. He was so afraid. "I... I-I think we should go downsta-"

"Ichigo." A threatening tone came from Kaien's side. The orange head gulped loudly, as he knew what would come next if he didn't say anything. "Tell me. Now." Another ball of saliva was swallowed. Ichigo wished secretly that he hadn't started this drama.

"I..." It was 'now or never'. "I'm..." He took a deep breath. "I'm gay."

...

...

Nothing seemed to happen and it made him even more nervous. Calming down gradually, Ichigo looked from the corner of his eye at his friend, who seemed to be quite surprised. His aquamarine eyes got bigger from unexpected news and his mouth slightly parted.

"Whoa..." That was the only word that escaped Kaien's lips. The atmosphere was really awkward right now. Silence had been in Ichigo's room for a while before the shocked teenager finally found his tongue. "W-Wow. I-I m-mean... Gosh... Uh, Ichigo, that's... unexpected. A-Are you sure... completely?" Ichigo nodded to Kaien's bigger surprise. "Well... I guess then..." He scratched his black hair, trying to find proper words.

"What?" Ichigo asked, being mildly in panic. Was Kaien going to abandon him?

"I mean, it's about your... preferences. If you think it's alright with you then I don't need to interfere, right?" Sea-green eyes met ocher orbs with a warm smile. "Besides, it's not like it bothers me. I mean, you know, you being gay." Ichigo blinked a few times, inwardly being really happy. Kaien must have noticed his happiness, because now he was grinning cheerfully.

"Really?"

"Of course, idiot." The teenager chuckled, but his expression had changed from happy to deadly-serious. "How long?" Ichigo was afraid of the question.

"Um... about a year, I guess."

"A YEAR!!?? And you hadn't told me before!?" Kaien changed into his fury-mood, the thing Ichigo was really scared of. "Dammit! I thought that we're normally saying things and reveal some secrets after some time, but a goddamn YEAR!?"

"Hey, don't think I feel freaking comfortable about revealing my sexual orientation!" Ichigo shouted back, anger from his friend becoming his anger. "Plus I wasn't completely sure at the beginning!"

"Then what made you so sure, huh!?" Kaien growled.

"I'll tell you what made me sure! I had sex with a guy, that's what made me sure!" Ichigo shouted and a dead silence came across. Realizing what had been just said, Ichigo covered his mouth slowly and blushed. Kaien paled at the words, totally confused by another odd confession from his friend.

"You... you really have done... that?" He couldn't believe what he was asking. It wasn't like Ichigo made a joke. It didn't feel like a joke either. Ichigo insecurely nodded, staring at his hands, which were making some nervous movements. "Umm... That's quite... disappointing." The tanned looked at Kaien, not understanding what the other meant. "Even if we're friends you didn't tell me any of those. I thought I was enough trustworthy." His words were filled with hurt and betrayal, he even laughed nervously. "That's probably my fault, I should have noticed something different."

"Sorry. I wasn't fair." Ichigo admitted sadly.

"Yes, you weren't." Kaien shook his head and made a few steps around room. Ichigo felt really bad by burdening his friend with his weird actions. "Uh... H-How was it?" Kaien blushed at his own question. The orange stared in surprise. Before he could ask what the friend meant, the realization came on its own. He also blushed, reminding all spent nights, filled with lust and sweat coming from two bodies, joined in skin connection. Heat, passion and shallow breaths.

"It was weird... I didn't know what to do, so... I was doing all what he told me to." Ichigo couldn't believe he was actually saying such a things. "I-It hurt in the beginning, but later it didn't bother." Kaien didn't expect for any details (he probably wouldn't be able to listen to them), so all Ichigo had said was enough.

"I guess we should join others." He broke the tense atmosphere and the orange nodded in agreement. "One last thing. Are you targeting someone?" This question was said not in a uptight way, making Ichigo knit his brows.

"Targeting?"

"You know, are you attracted to someone right now?" Kaien couldn't sometimes understand how Ichigo could be so thick-headed. Ichigo blushed and turned his head away.

"T-There is a one..."

"Who's that!?" Kaien moved closer to the orange head, giggling like a fangirl and making Ichigo more embarrassed. "Is it someone that I know? Is he handsome? Someone from Karakura? Tell me! Tellmetellmetellme!"

"For the God's sake, stop freaking acting like that!" Kaien chuckled at Ichigo's outburst. "Eh... Um... You know him... It's Renji..."

"ABARAI!? But that guy is a complete idiot! Though..." He made a serious look and hummed in thinking. "Was it 'similarities attract'?" Of course it wasn't like this, nevertheless he enjoyed raving Ichigo, who had a great will to kill his friend. He laughed and ran out of the room with Ichigo behind him. Angry, happy, annoyed, he liked Ichigo in that ways. Just seeing him how energetic was his friend made him less worried. After all, Ichigo had attempts to be emo, and he pledged that he'd keep him away from any strange, death connected ideas. Even if through those 6 years he had never got to know what was the reason Ichigo was wandering around the shore in the late evening, it didn't mattered. "Ichigo, have you ever been attracted by me?" The orange made a face of doom, when such a random question was asked.

"W-W-What the hell!!?? What's with it!!??"

"Just asking out of curiosity." Though he didn't know what would he do with the answer.

"As if I'm going to give the answer! Kiss my ass!" They were going down the stairs to join everyone in dinner. Kaien was still thinking about what Ichigo had said, chuckling inwardly at the flushed teenager. Maybe had been, maybe he hadn't. Ichigo, still irritated after the odd question, thought about it for a second. There were times, when he was thinking only of Kaien and dreams of him weren't even a bit innocent. He admitted sometimes the dreams comebacks were really annoying, but he never thought of hurting his friend. Right, he had never even mentioned him about being gay before. But now it didn't matter.

Not now.

Not yet.

**AG-RO-TAG'S NOTE!**

**Hello, nice to meet everyone who has just finished reading the first chapter of "Be here..." xDDDD**

**Yep, as you can see this is going to be a story about kind of rare pairing IchigoxKaien (Well, don't be afraid, upcoming RenjixIchigo is just for start), but I've found out that there are some fans of this pairing xD **

**Well, I'm going to be a next fan?**

**OK, I didn't want to put any disclaimers in the beginning, because titles, that are going to be shown are going to be important!**

**TIME FOR SOME WARNINGS!**

**THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE MATURE SITUATIONS! IF YOU'RE UNDERAGE OR DON'T LIKE YAOI JUST DON'T READ IT (I've put a little warning in the beginning, so I guess the one, who's reading it, doesn't care xD). **

**BLEACH IS A CREATION OF KUBO TITE! I DO NOT OWN ANY OF PRESENTED CHARACTERS!!! (though Mr and Mrs Shiba are made up by me xD)**

**Heh, the story begins, I'm going to have some fuuuuuun ^^**

**Bye bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: contains homosexual love and sex scenes!**

"...because I'm scared of being alone...and losing control..."

Some time had passed, leaving Ichigo and Kaien in entirely new situation. High School. New environment, new possibilities, new 'crushes'. That time the biggest event was a new Kaien's girlfriend, Miyako, the most popular and most beautiful girl (as it was believed) in Karakura High. That was something new for Ichigo, but he adapted it pretty well as Miyako was not only beautiful but also intelligent and had a really pleasant personality. It seemed that nothing besides that fact had changed, maybe Kaien was seeing the orange head not so often, but after all he had lots of time for his best friend. Ichigo was happy that the sea-eyed boy was satisfied with having a girlfriend, though the feeling of not being the only important sometimes came back. And so did the memory of having crush for Kaien. But he had to refuse that thought, what mattered now was his current 'target' of his attraction, a tattooed, long haired redhead, named Abarai Renji. Ichigo wasn't sure why he had fallen for that 'idiot' (as Kaien was calling the redhead), but there was something that just forced on him that kind of feeling. To his pleasant surprise, Renji seemed also to be interested in the orange head. Finally, Abarai invited Ichigo to school's rooftop. Whole confession part was kind of... awkward, as for almost 15 minutes Renji wasn't able to tell anything, only to move his mouth silently and blush furiously. But, gladly, he was able to choke out some words. "I... wan...t...go...out?" It didn't sound intelligently, but Ichigo accepted. Their new commitment was ended with quite passionate kiss and furious Ichigo, after he had fought off Renji's attempt to have sex with him on the roof. They went downstairs to join others. Ichigo wanted to explain everything slowly, but there was no need to say anything, when in front of everybody the redhead moved his lips to the orange boy's and kissed deeply. Of course, no one had guts to interrupt Abarai in suffocating Ichigo. No one, but...

"WHAT THE HELL!!??" It was Kaien, who dared to say a word, making Renji scowl in annoyance. Ichigo, trying to catch his breath, took a glance at everyone. All his friends were stunned and had eyes bigger. And blushed. Kaien was the reddest. "Uh... Ichigo, what the hell?" His aquamarine eyes were more confused than angry, but he couldn't find better words to... ask. The orange released himself from his new-boyfriend's tight embrace and was about to reply, when Renji growled.

"Why are you so confused about, Shiba? A pretty-face like you shouldn't be so surprised or embarrassed by that." And so he glomped Ichigo from behind. Instead of being redder, Kaien was gradually paling as the realization came down on him. Ichigo sighed in annoyance, not liking the way Renji was treating his friend, but he also couldn't do anything with it. Kaien and the redhead were on really bad terms. Every their attempt to have a normal conversation ended with quarrel and he was the one to calm both boys (by calming he meant punching hardly both hot-heads and sulking for the rest of the day). And now he was between hell and high water. Literally... "If you still don't get it then let me explain this to you. Ichigo is now mine, comprende?"

"Shit, Renji, get off me!" Ichigo was running out of patience and was wriggling, demanding for freedom. Kaien was still speechless, he was as pale as snow and his eyes were flashing with hate towards Renji. Why was he so angry anyway?

"But Ichi, you said you like it when I'm touching you~!" The redhead made puppy-look and tightened his tug.

"Cut it off! I've never said such a crap!" Ichigo shouted even louder. He was angry and worried. "I said, for God's sake, if you don't stop it now, I will kick you so hard that- H-HEY! Kaien!" And so, suddenly, the aquamarine eyed boy turned around and moved really fast. He was almost running. It wasn't right. The feeling he had just a while ago wasn't right.

He wasn't supposed to feel so jealous!

Hadn't Ichigo said to him earlier that he had a crush on Abarai? Back then he also didn't feel good by that.

_'Have you ever been attracted by me?'_ Why the heck he asked such a thing!?

"Kaien-san?" The boy didn't even notice he passed someone by, who appeared to be his girlfriend. "Kaien-san? Are you ok? You seem to be troubled." Kaien slapped himself mentally and smiled apologetically at Miyako. "Kaien-san..."

"Oh, Miyako, how many times I told you not to put that stupid '-san' thing in my name?" Actually he wasn't in the mood to speak to his girlfriend. In fact, he had never shown his 'evil' side of himself to her and he promised to never let that happen. "Nothing happened; I'm just a little bit tired." Miyako eyed him suspiciously, no doubt he was lying. But it couldn't be helped. However she tried to make her boyfriend speak, he would never tell her. Anyway, she had gotten used to it. "I guess we should go, next class is starting." Kaien smiled cheerfully and took her hand. She nodded and followed him, still thinking about his mood change.

Yes, that didn't seem to be right. Months passed and all Karakura High students were about to finish their first term. Summer vacation was near, so everyone was making plans for free time. Through those months of intensive studying Ichigo had noticed something different. Every time Kaien wanted to talk to him, Renji was interrupting and vice versa. And so, Ichigo couldn't have any normal conversation with his best friend. It was sad, but his redheaded boyfriend occupied his time in school as well as outside the school and he felt quite bad. It totally wasn't what he wanted.

The first day of holidays. The sun was shining brightly and whole town had something that made people live more energetically. Ichigo was sitting on a grass hill and looking at the river, thinking about life and death, everything and nothing. It was quite a peaceful place, where he was staying, and he was completely alone. What did he want to do during the summer?

"Ichigo?" The orange head responded to familiar voice and turned his head to the black haired boy with blue-green orbs, which were flashing with a surprise. The other was carrying bags with groceries and was on the top of the hill, looking down at Ichigo. "Wow, never thought of meeting you here. Losing yourself in thoughts, huh?" Kaien grinned and was rewarded with a small smile, which on Ichigo's face was really rare.

"Kind of. Want to join in?" To Ichigo's disappointment Kaien's face fell and he shook his head.

"No matter how I'd love to I have to go home and prepare dinner for Ganjyu and Kuukaku. Mom and dad went to Tokyo for some conference and those two brats are not supposed to be anywhere around the kitchen." Pointing at groceries, he laughed honestly and sighed with small sadness. Ichigo also sighed, but he didn't want to give up that easily. He really needed to talk to his friend.

"Then, want me to go with you?" Kaien was again surprised and he thought about the offer. A broad smile turned up on his face and Ichigo was sure about coming along. It was so strange that he actually missed the moments spent only with his annoying, unstable-emotionally friend and now, when they were walking near the shore and talking about what they had missed during those unfortunate months of distance between them, he realized even more that talking to Kaien was one of the most enjoyable things. They were walking and talking, and talking, and...

"CRAP! WE MISSED MY HOUSE!" Kaien had got so into his conversation with Ichigo that in no time both of them landed in some unknown district, far away from Shiba's home. "Why the heck didn't you tell me we're in the middle of nowhere!?"

"What!? Is it me, who is supposed to look for your house!? I don't remember being obligated to do it!" Again, their silly quarrel started.

"And how the hell am I supposed to make dinner, when I'm about kilometers away from my home!?" Kaien shouted, but then he calmed down and grabbed his head in hopelessness. "Shit, I'm going to be late and Kuukaku will probably complain like hell, and Ganjyu will complain even more... We need to come back, right now." Ichigo shrugged and both boys turned to the opposite direction, having more than 20 minutes to reach their destination. Kaien seemed to cool down a little more, because he started a new conversation. "Do you have any plans for this summer?"

"Eh, dunno... Probably Renji and I will go to the beach." The orange replied.

"Beach? I thought you hated all stuff connected with the sea and the beach."

"Yeah, but Renji insisted on going there."

"Then why won't you go to the mountains?"

"Renji dislikes them."

"Uh-huh..." This conversation wasn't going well, that's at least what Ichigo thought. He needed to change the subject.

"And what about you and Miyako-chan?" Kaien's expression was unexpectedly down and Ichigo couldn't help but worry.

"Her parents are sending her to something like a science camp and she won't be in Karakura for almost whole summer." He sighed. "Actually, my dad also wanted to send me somewhere far away, but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea." He connected his eyes with ocher orbs of his friend and smiled reassuringly. "Ya know, I'd prefer sitting on the grass and watching clouds, so waking up at any time I want to being bossed around and waking up at unbelievable early hours. So I might just decide to stay in Karakura." Ichigo agreed that his friend's summer might really suck and he couldn't help, but feel an obligation to do something with it. "Well, at least you're going to have some fun."

"Don't say it that way!" The orange felt quite guilty and quite unsure about the use of 'having fun' for his person. And situation.

"You mean you don't intend to have a nice time with Abarai?" Kaien quirked a brow in a questioning gesture. Kaien's stupid sixth sense, Ichigo thought.

"It's not like that! I mean..." He was just about to say some embarrassing things; the black haired could guess it by looking at the bright red face of his friend. It somehow made him chuckle a little, but also got him worried. "I-I mean... Renji somehow became really... demanding."

"And those acts of his demand is shown in the way you painfully walk in school, I suppose?"

"WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! How the-!? When did you-!!?? What do you think-!!!"

"You know, it's kind of noticeable when you walk with your legs spread a little, and with that pained look on your face with every step you take." Kaien smirked, but as well is eyes showed a pure concern. "Either both of you are horrible perverts or Abarai is extremely horny and you're extremely passive." Ichigo sighed, not being sure if Kaien was just making fun of him or was he serious. He just knew that anger was building up within him. "Ichigo... You don't-"

"WHAT DO I FUCKING 'DON'T'!!??" Kaien backed off a little, not predicting such an outburst. He wasn't sure if anything he was about to say was going to be useful. But he really needed to ask this.

"You're not having sex with Abarai only to keep him with you, right?" That was probably the trigger to a silent fury. How could Kaien think of something like that? Ichigo wasn't some sort of slut. The orange head got even redder; he clenched his fists tightly as well as his teeth.

"Who the hell do you think I am..." It was said more as a statement than a question. He wasn't thinking logically and he wasn't taking the question of his friend as a sign of friendly concern. It was an attack. "Do I look like a whore to you?" Kaien was dumbfounded, he had never seen Ichigo so angry before. And neither he though this conversation would turn that way.

"W-What!? No, of course not, I-"

"Then why the hell do you care about my personal life so much!?" Ichigo stopped their tracks and shouted at his friend.

"It's not like that! I'm just concerned!" Defense was the only thing Kaien could do at the moment.

"About what!? That I'm probably not capable of handling my life properly!?"

"No! That maybe you have a problem and you're not able to handle THAT!"

"I don't have any fucked up problems!"

"You do!"

"Fuck no!"

"Then what the fuck makes you act like this!?"

"YOU are the fucking CAUSE!" This answer made Kaien totally speechless. His eyes grew wide and he held his breath for a moment, before Ichigo carried on saying other hurting words toward him. "You, you and YOU! You always need to know everything what I'm doing, with who I'm talking or meeting! It's you, who don't give me any piece of mind and irritates me the most! You think you know everything about me, but this is just bullshit! Fuck, I still can't believe how I could put up with your fucking-annoying being for so many years! I must be a fucking saint or something!" With the final sentence Ichigo panted from fury and tried to inhale fully, not paying attention to his companion, who was just standing stiffly, not daring to make any movement with his body or face. The tanned boy was cooling down rapidly, overwhelming anger backing off quickly. Everything hit his head. The very last minute of his anger flashed before his mind's eyes. It was wrong, that wasn't supposed to be like this. The anger he felt, it wasn't supposed to be given to him. It wasn't for Kaien… He looked up slowly, only to meet his friend's face as stiff as before. He wasn't moving at all. Only small teardrops could be found under the sea gaze. One after another, they were falling down creamy cheeks. Monotonously. Such a face had he ever seen. For the first time Ichigo felt truly like the biggest son of a bitch in the world. And just when he was supposed to break this painful silence, the black haired rubbed his eyes, tightened his grip on the bag of groceries and, not looking at chocolate eyes, he passed Ichigo by slowly.

"I have to go. Family is waiting." The voice was strange. It didn't belong to Kaien, Ichigo thought. Yet, this sound came exactly from his throat. The orange head neither had courage to go after the friend nor to call after him. The frame of Kaien was distancing itself further and further, and he was only watching.

And so, he was standing alone.

Renji called him later, wanting to explain some details connected with his and Ichigo's trip to the sea. It was a pure surprise that both boys were supposed to set off the other day. The day after something broke in him. Ichigo had to do something or else he would get crazy. He packed up his luggage, lay on his bed and fell asleep.

With a blink of an eye the first week of Renji's and Ichigo's trip passed by. The weather was brilliant for sunbathing and swimming, so all tourists were taking advantage of it. There was a joyful atmosphere around the place, it was living cheerfully. People were organizing their time in different ways. Some of them had really odd ways. Not so far away from the public beach, near the sea and behind the rock, two males were laying one on the top of another, half naked and making out. The topping redhead was kissing passionately and moving from his lover's pink lips to tanned, well-muscled chest, leaving some red marks and gaining pleasant moans. The orange headed, who was on the bottom, tried his best not to be too loud and was biting his bottom lip painfully. It was hard for him to enjoy things, as Renji was really rough on him and he was still suffering from last night 'activities' with his lover. Also something else was bothering his mind. Since that day Ichigo had been quite lifeless and had been losing himself in thought more often. The only thing, what came to his mind, was the blank face of his friend and his sea eyes, which shown a torn soul inside. If he could just shut up, if he could honestly say about his problems, probably there wouldn't be any problems at this moment. Now there was no choice left, but to bottle in his true feelings.

"Ichigo!" A big palm grabbed his chin and forced his head to face his annoyed lover. He sighed in annoyance, trying not to show his musing pose to Renji. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're completely out of it." He knew it, so he shrugged. There was no concern in Renji's sharp look, only anger and a great desperation for sex. This look disgusted him. Is it even possible for lustful eyes to make him feel like being raped? Because he felt like that quite frequently then. Ichigo tried to get Renji off him and sit up, but suddenly his lover held him tighter and pinned him to the sand. "And where the hell are you going?"

"Get off, Renji. I'm really not in the mood." That was true. He was angry at himself. And he really needed to be alone. Abarai was putting bigger resistance. "Renji…"

"Why can't you just enjoy it?" The redhead growled, while grabbing the other boy's crotch hardly, making him yelp. He massaged the place furiously, feeling Ichigo's responding at the intimate touch and making him moan loudly. "Stop thinking and relax. It'll make things much easier to me. And to you." And so he connected his lips with Ichigo's, tongue almost devastating the flawless mouth. This shut the panting boy successfully, leaving him in blissful sensations coming from Renji's really experienced hands. He was even more angry at the whole situation. Here he was, lying and panting like an animal, crying at the pounding pleasure from between his legs and repeating his lover's name like a mantra. But in front of his face was someone else, looking at him expressionless. He tried to get rid of this face, but, both with closed and opened eyes, it was still staring.

And so, almost every day of their being at the sea, was spent like that. Wake up, morning sex in their bed, breakfast (molesting near the kitchen table), go to the beach, have some sunbath, have sex on the beach (and it wasn't the name of a drink), eat dinner, go to bed and… well, ending is quite predictable. This routine was making Ichigo feel worn out and completely good-for-nothing-but-for-sex. It was another night. For the first time, since their arrival, Renji went to sleep right after eating dinner and going to bed. It was like a blessing for Ichigo's hurting muscles. He really wanted to rest. Both males were lying on their king-sized bed, the redhead holding possessively his lover from behind and sleeping like a rock. Ichigo wasn't able to sleep, the pain wasn't letting him to do it. He could only look at the sunny-colored wall and think. He was thinking about two things. The most important: Kaien. Never had he ever wished to talk to the unstable friend like now, but it was impossible. After what he had done, it was impossible. The second thing: what is still connecting him with Renji? When was the last time the redhead had done something else to him than screwing him up? Does Renji really care about him, not only about his body? Is he really just meant for sex? Ichigo was able to answer all questions, but it made him frustrated at the same time. Right now Renji was the only one, who had 'seemingly' a deeper relationship with him (though doubts were floating in his mind). The last time Renji was quite affectionate was the day before having sex with him for the first time (after the day Renji changed from sweet to horny). He wasn't sure if his lover would do something else for him. And he really felt like a slut. He felt the way Kaien was worried about. His friend was right, totally right…

The night hadn't ended. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. Ichigo was sitting in the kitchen, right in front of the telephone, holding the receiver and lying fingers on cipher buttons. The frequent BEEP sound could only be heard. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to run away from his lover, catch the fastest bus and come back to Karakura. He would lock himself in his room and wait, till all images from his head would be gone. He looked at the telephone's screen. The right number was dialed, but he hadn't pressed the button 'CALL'. Again, he felt awful. Not only he would wake Kaien up at such an hour, but also he would beg for help as if nothing had happened. Consequences of losing his temper. He looked back at the room, where his lover was still sleeping deeply and gulped thickly. He pressed the green button 'CALL' and the 'BEEP' sound changed, waiting for any reply. Ichigo could feel his insides tightening from nervousness. What would he do if he'd hear…

"Uh…mphm …'Ell…Hello?" He had no time to think, there was an answer in his receiver. His blood ran from his face, leaving him white and scared of saying anything. His breathing was shallow and he was covered in cold sweat. "Hello?" The second time. He had to do something or else he might not have another chance. His breathing became louder and small sobbing started to form in his throat. He was enough audible for the boy from the other side of phone. "Hello?" The third time, this time the voice was no longer sleepy and worry could be heard. Ichigo cried louder (not loud enough to wake up Renji), he really wanted to hear that voice.

"H-Help m-me…" He choked out, not understanding why he said such words in such a dramatic way. He sounded pathetically. The need to see his face, the need to hear his voice, he needed them now.

"I-Ichigo?" Kaien would recognize this voice everywhere, no matter how deformed would it be. Hearing his friend sobbing through the phone alarmed him instantly. What was going on with the orange head? "Ichigo? What's happening? Where are you?" Holding the receiver tightly, he stood from his bed and moved to his wardrobe. "Ichigo, answer me." He quickly dressed up, listening to crying friend. Ichigo, through his sobs, gave his current location, but it was all he could do. Kaien wrote the address down on a little piece of paper and rushed from his home. It was really dark (well, middle of the night), but he was glad, that the buses were riding even at night. He waited 10 minutes and took the right bus. He was deadly worried. Since their big argument Ichigo hadn't even said a word to him and now he seemed to be in trouble. Kaien really wanted to talk to his friend, he really wanted to apologize for his behavior towards him and wanted to forget about what Ichigo had said to him earlier. If only forget, he also wanted to apologize for all those things that made Ichigo so angry at him. But he never had courage… After 6 bus stops, Kaien went out of the bus and ran as fast as he could to the place where the orange was. It was hard for him to see everything in darkness, but he managed to find the right hotel. He passed by the receptionist, ran up the stairs and searched for the right door.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Ichigo wiped off all tears left. He had been waiting in silence for about an hour and here, someone was knocking. He looked at his lover's room, scared of awakening of the other, but nothing happened. Another knocking, this time more forceful. Ichigo ran to the door and opened them in a second. His heart tightened when he saw his black haired friend with the aquamarine eyes, all worried and scared. It was Kaien, all panting from physical effort. Ichigo could feel another series of tears gathering in his eyes, when, unexpectedly, Kaien hugged him tightly, still trying to catch his breath. That was really unbelievable, but he couldn't feel much happier than before. He forced himself not to burst into tears and hugged back gently. Kaien seemed to remember how to breath peacefully and he took a glance of his friend. "Where's Abarai?" His voice was cold and threatening, but the orange expected it. He pointed at the bedroom door, still not sure if to say something or not. Kaien scowled deeply. "Ichigo, you have to listen to me without any complaints, do you understand?" The boy nodded. "Are you packed?" Another nod (Ichigo wasn't used to unpack his luggage on any trips). "Alright, take it right now and we're leaving immediately." So he did what was told. He gathered everything and was about to finally leave his apartment, when Kaien thew him a piece of paper and a pen. "You're breaking up with him, right now." Ichigo's eyes widened in shock.

"What? But-"

"I think I said clearly 'no complaints'?" The tone of the question made Ichigo sent shivers of fear. No doubt Kaien was really angry with the whole situation. Ichigo nodded and looked at the paper, not knowing what to write. The black haired wanted to leave before hi friend's lover woke up, but seeing Ichigo confused about whole situation he sighed. "Write him: I'm fucking leaving you, you sickening pervert." Ichigo's eyes widened again, but did it, nevertheless. In fact, those words sounded just like him and he really wanted to say the exact thing to Renji a long time ago. He left the note on the kitchen table and both friends rushed out of the hotel, trying to catch the bus. When they were finally on aboard, Ichigo carefully sat down, feeling the big pressure gone completely, it was a relief.

But not a full relief. Both boys weren't talking to each other whole ride to their homes.

And later they even didn't dare to mention anything about the event.

Besides that, everything seemed to come back to normal. The week after the incident, both boys decided to spend whole day on real, honest talk. Ichigo came in the morning and Kaien locked them both inside his room. But before he did that...

"Kaien, what the heck have you brought?" What he saw really shocked him.

"What? Oh, you mean this?" He lifted a quite big bottle of sake and put it down on the floor. "Well, how do I call it?... Courage helper?" The black haired grinned and searched for some cup-like things to pour the alcohol.

"COURAGE HELPER!? We're underage!"

"Nah, we're in my house, so nothing bad will happen." His voice was careless, as if he wasn't intending to talk about all painful stuff that happened last time. "Sorry, but I don't have any appropriate sake cups at the moment." He handed Ichigo a small flower-designed mug and poured the alcohol. Ichigo made a sour face, still doubting if drinking sake was a good idea. "Oh, come on, don't make a face like that! You owe me this one, after all." It was in some way true, so he sighed and poured whole liquid down hi throat in one sip. Kaien smirked and did the same. It was quite a long day, there were too many things to describe thoroughly. Every stated issue was firstly discussed, then there was a moment of quarrel, then some crying and apologizing. And another sip of sake. And another. And so the afternoon passed quickly, both boys were lying on the floor, babbling not so understandable words and whining a lot. Ichigo was dizzy, Kaien was totally drunk. "Khe...Eh..Blargh...thisssuckssssake's gone..." His pale skin on his cheeks was now changed to bright red, showing how the black haired had gotten affected by the alcohol.

"Jesus Christ... I swear I'm gonna... not gonna... now, well... never fucking mind..." Ichigo's mumble was also illogical, but he wasn't as drunk as his friend. "This whole... Kaien... fucked up..." He meant, that the idea of drinking sake wasn't a wise one. The orange tried to stand up, but before he could think of any stable position, he fell down in a way that he was facing Kaien directly, their heads only centimeters away. Through his mind haze he saw small drops coming out from watery eyes of his friend. "What the... heck?"

"I dunno... Fucking dunno..." Kaien sobbed quietly. "Everything's fucked, I don't feel happy at all..." The words coming from the black haired boy's mouth made Ichigo more aware of what situation he was in. "I'm a fucking loser. Annoying loser. I've never had any chance to say anything without thinking, I'm hiding myself, my insides are suffocating, FUCK!"

"You're not a loser." Ichigo felt quite bad. It was actually his first time seeing his friend in such a state of... depression.

"I am. I'm not strong enough against myself. I'm too weak to fight."

"You don't have to fight this alone." He put his hand gently on Kaien's cheek to wipe off salty tears. "There are plenty of people."

"Che, yeah, freaking mountains." The drunk said sarcastically. "Mom and dad are almost never here, always going from Tokyo to Tokyo; Ganjyu and Kuukaku have their own lives and problems, so it's a bother to bear with their unstable big brother; Miyako is really sweet, but sooner or later she'll see the true me and leave me, or she'll get bored with my shown-me and leave me, anyway... I don't even know if I'd be so miserable, if she left me..." He shrugged. Ichigo scowled softly, realizing something. Right now, in front of him, was lying the true Kaien, not the annoying-silly-grinning madman, not unpredictably-furious madman, but he himself. The real him, lonely, saddened and in need of immediate comfort.

"What about me then?" Ichigo moved his face to Kaien's so close, that their noses were touching. Kaien opened his eyes at the sudden closeness. "Am I not good enough to help you?" Kaien was lying still, feeling quite insecure of Ichigo's intentions. His breathing hitched, when Ichigo moved even closer, lips brushing his own. "I want to make you feel good." And so the orange head placed a gentle kiss, making his friend freeze in shock. "I want you to feel better." Another kiss, but this time he slightly got up and moved his upper body on the slim figure of Kaien. "Let me comfort you." Another kiss, but this one was more tender, changing to passionate. Kaien's mind couldn't process any events going at the moment. The shock, confusion and sake blocked his logical way of thinking. He didn't react at the first kiss, nor at the second. He couldn't move his body when Ichigo's tongue was exploring his mouth, hungry for more contact and taste. But one blink of consciousness sparkled in his mind and he was fully aware of the situation. He, lying on the bottom, was being kissed hungrily by his best friend, who was on the top of him. However he tried to force his body to push the orange head away, there was no response from his brain.

"I-Ichigo, s-stop..." Kaien begged silently, right after Ichigo's mouth landed from his lips to his neck, placing rough kisses and making down his throat. "N-No, sto-Ahhh..." Suddenly he felt a wave of pleasure, coming from his intimate areas and reacting at the touch of tanned hand. In one second Kaien was completely sober. And terrified. "No, Ichigo!" He gained some control over his body, but he wasn't strong enough to push the orange away. The other seemed to be deaf, because he started to undress the black haired from his shirt and slipped his other hand under trousers to touch the sensitive skin. Another, louder moan escaped from Kaien's lips at the sensation. In a matter of second the molested was lying on the floor, completely naked and Ichigo was looking from above, only shirtless. He moved his tanned hand down Kaien's body, making the other whimper and shiver. The hand was getting lower and lower, causing a stronger wave of shaking. "Ichigo... Please..." He was no longer sure, whether Kaien was begging to stop what he was doing or begging to stop the tease. It didn't matter to him right now.

"Relax. And let me make you feel good." That was the last thing Ichigo said before going all the way. He was pretending he didn't hear desperate pleadings and he let himself get more turned on after every moan he received from Kaien. But, also he was worried. He knew that what he was about to do would be very painful for his panting friend, so he tried to be as gentle as possible, also not letting the other break free from his embrace. Few moments had passed before he decided to go into his friend and connect deeply. Scream was heard in his ears, painful tears were escaping from half-opened sea gaze. Ichigo kissed the other apologetically and waited for a moment, before moving inside Kaien. The black haired felt strange with his friend moving inside of him. It was freaking painful, but not as painful as he expected. Well, by expected he meant he was wondering how sex with another man felt, especially from the position of the receiver. Now it was him, who was getting fucked and not by any other weird, disgusting or perverted man, but by his best friend. Luck in seemingly unfortunate situation, but he never thought of experiencing it. It was useless to fight back, Ichigo was much way too stronger than him, so he at least wanted to go through it as fast as possible. Kaien wrapped his hands around Ichigo's neck and panted hardly, moaning softly. It seemed his action made the orange head worked up, because the pace was quickened. The level of pain also rose, but something else showed up.

"Ahh! Haa... haa..." It was a shameless pleasure, which started to take over. Ichigo was doing something strange that made him feel like this. "Ah! Ah! Ah!" Now the sensation was more frequent. He completely lost control over his mind and body. He wasn't even aware, that his moans became louder and he even started to move along with thrusting. "Haaa...Ahh, f-faster, f-fast-AAH!" Ichigo complied with his friend's command, quite surprised that Kaien stopped resisting and was moving along. The flushed face of black haired boy was so beautiful for him, it made him want to see that face more often. "AH, Ichigo... Ichi...Ngh! Ichi-ahh...." The other started repeating his name in ecstasy. "Ichigo... faster... deeper...Ahh!" All his dreams, containing making love to Kaien, weren't even a bit great as what Ichigo was experiencing in reality. If was so soft and hot, he was able to taste that delicious creamy skin, his ear were fed with sweet sound of pleasure and the aquamarine gaze was lost in strong sensations and lust. Everything was so real. "Ichigo... I aaah c-can't Ahhh! I-AH! AAAHHH!!!" The second scream of the evening, this time full of overwhelming heat. Kaien couldn't see anything, though his eyes were opened widely. Everything was bright and his body was melting, freezing, crushing, no word could describe what was he feeling. It was like an explosion. Well, this word would fit the best: his body was exploding. Ichigo also reached his limit and groaned loudly, his thrusting no longer frequent, but impulsive. It felt so great, feeling Kaien all over him was the best thing he could ever feel. But, as always, all good things come to an end, and their euphoria had to stop as well. Ichigo stopped, exhausted as well as his partner. He shook a little before completely withdrawing and falling beside Kaien on the floor. The heat was cooling down and breathings slowly normed. They came to an end. None of them was drunk anymore, their minds were perfectly clear and they were fully aware of what had been done. The most worried was Ichigo. Lust was too much for him to handle and he simply lost control. He ignored Kaien's begging, he did everything against his will. Actually, to start with, Kaien WASN'T gay.

"K-Kaien... are you...?" It was so embarrassing and he was truly ashamed. The other had closed eyes and was inhaling slowly, as if he ignored the question. Well, that was really understandable for the orange. Right now Kaien had every right to hate him, to beat the crap out of him or to sent him flying from his house. Not only he was forced to have sex, he got hurt, but also something else. Miyako. Kaien was still in relationship with the girl and, simply, what he had just done was a simple act of infidelity. Anyway, how he was going to explain his girlfriend that he had sex with a guy?! Not a plain guy, but with Ichigo!? Million thought ran through his orange head. He yelped, when Kaien's hand landed on his shoulder.

"H-Help me get up. It's cold and uncomfortable on the floor." Kaien complained, though his eyes didn't dare to look at his friend. The pale face was blushing. Ichigo blinked in confusion, what did Kaien mean? A small vein popped on black haired boy's forehead. "Hey, did you hear me!?" He grabbed handful of orange locks and shook Ichigo painfully. The other's confusion grew bigger. "You almost butt-raped me and now you're staring at me like a complete idiot! I'm in a great pain, so be nice and carry me to the damn bed!" Ichigo's brain died...

"...raped?" Ichigo blinked many times at the word used by Kaien. The other huffed and faced him, still blushing.

"I said 'almost'. I WANT TO GO TO BED!" Ichigo shook his head to gather some of his mind left and stood up. He looked down and was about to offer his hand to his friend, when he realized another thing: Kaien was still naked. The sight made him blush deeply. "HEY! Stop freaking staring at me!" he nodded and gave his hand. Kaien winced, but also stood up. Both of them made few steps and the black haired landed on his bed, instantly covering his naked body under the bed sheets. Ichigo was staring at his friend, who turned his back on him and curled in his bed like a ball.

"Why did you mean by 'almost' raped?" He knew that Kaien was feeling raped, because, after all, Ichigo DID it against his will. Kaien tensed and bit his bottom lip, not sure how to answer the question.

"B-Because I..." He mumbled, making Ichigo not understand and come closer to bed. "I... don't consider... THAT as a rape..." Kaien hid his head in pillow. Ichigo titled his head, slowly understanding, but not completely.

"Then, what was it?" He needed to hear it.

"You... didn't you say you were c-comforting me?" That was true, Ichigo thought. "And..." That was odd, he thought again. "I-t's not like... I didn't... l-lik...ARGH, don't make me say something like that!!"

"I'm not doing anything!" Ichigo scowled, but his anger faded out as fast. "You liked it?" He moved closer to his friend and sat on the corner of Kaien's bed. "Kaien, you..."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I DID, I LIKED IT! HAPPY!?" He shouted and again curled in his bed. This behavior was really strange to Ichigo, suddenly Kaien was easily irritated and shouted a lot. It was as if he was seeing himself. A small smile formed in his lips at the thought.

"Well... I think I'll be going." Ichigo wanted to get up, but a hand grabbed his wrist and he looked at his friend, noticing a dark aura... What the hell!?

"And where the hell do you think you're going...? Firstly you're getting drunk, then screwing with me, then screwing ME and now you're gonna leave as if nothing has happened?" Yes, Kaien definitely changed. And Ichigo was the most possible cause. But then, something was weird.

"I..." Ichigo felt uneasy. "I though you wouldn't want to see my face..." After all, Kaien was acting as if he really didn't want to. Kaien glared for a moment but his gaze softened afterwards, hearing those words full of shame.

"Idiot, you're thinking way too much..." Ichigo looked up and noticed that on other boy's face a small smile appeared. "This bed is big enough for you to fit, so hop in. AND DON'T HAVE ANY IDEAS, I'M COMFORTED ENOUGH..." Ichigo nodded in fear and placed himself comfortably. Kaien turned off the light. "Goodnight." Ichigo also nodded, but still he didn't feel right. Happiness washed over him, when Kaien admitted (not directly) that he was comforted. It was uncomfortable for him to sleep plainly, so he embraced Kaien's waist and brought the other closer, so it was possible to cuddle. In shock, Kaien yelped at Ichigo's action, but he lay still. He orange placed his chin on a pale neck and inhaled deeply before responding.

"Goodnight, Kaien." The way it was spoken was really affectionate. Plus, Kaien couldn't complain that he was uncomfortable (rather the other way round). He sighed and drifted slowly to his sleep. But one question rang.

Are they still friends or not? If not, then what were they?

**- - -**

**Ag-ro-tag's note**

**...egh... I really suck at English...**

**And it was like... my first erotic scene ever written. Kaien got ALMOST butt-raped xD**

**Plus Renji became the bad one? Well, he was just horny, it's not like he was a rapist and telling Ichigo 'TAKE OFF YOU PANTS'. Kaien said right, Ichigo was 'extremely passive', so Renji was taking advantage of it! **

**..I'm also aware of the fact, that Ichigo was at the beginning really uke, but his and Abarai's relationship... I can't see it in other way?**

**Well, what will happen next? They're not official lovers, after all...**

**...well, not now, at least khe khe khe**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3

„I'm too pathetic to ignore you... I'll let you hurt me again..."

_'What are we?'_

"Ichigoo~! Listen to me!" The orange head was sitting near his school desk and looking through the window. It was the end of summer break, school duties called back. "I-CHI-GO!" So many things, freaking complicated things, and yet everything seemed as if nothing had happened. Just like all the events were nothing else, but a short, 5-minute episodes in his life. "ICHIGO!" He felt something stinging between two of his ribs and, naturally reacting, he punched the source of pain really hard. "Owie! Why have you done that!?" A student with arm-length, brown hair pouted at his musing friend, rubbing his just-punched head.

"Because you won't shut up, Keigo." Ichigo growled and came back to looking through his window. A few people were sitting on a small bench outside. Among them he had recognized the aquamarine eyed boy, who seemingly had a great time with his new company. This was a completely normal behavior for Kaien, Ichigo knew it. And that was what made him think.

"Why the heck are you observing the school square?"

"Watching some hot chicks in tight miniskirts." His face was nothing, but annoyed, when suddenly his comrade shown up beside him and was looking for the so-said chicks. No surprise, that there weren't any. "You're really dumb."

"Hey, wait a second..." Keigo made a funny-serious face and glared at the orange. "You're gay."

"No way, you're kidding..." This fact was so obvious and Ichigo didn't want to comment this.

"Wait... could it be...?" Keigo inhaled deeply and unexpectedly hugged Ichigo tightly. "MY DEAR ICHIGO! You've finally noticed the beauty of woman's body! !!Are you finally straig-UPH!!!' His hug changed into powerful kick from Ichigo's side and so he was lying on the floor, holding his belly firmly.

"You really can't sense sarcasm, can you?" And so he came back to his observations. He ignored pained complaints coming from the floor (or rather his friend) and paid attention only on Kaien. The other neither hated him nor... well, was there any second option? That unforgettable evening he had done it, then both of them went to sleep and in the morning Kaien asked him what he wanted to eat for breakfast. It was really normal. Too normal to him. He knew the black haired HAD to change his way of looking at him... In some way...

_'Dammit! Why is he so hard to see through!?' _Ichigo thought angrily. His friend was the master of hiding emotions and thoughts. Even though they knew each other for 6 years, and he learned to guess Kaien's thinking, it was still impossible to read him clearly. Maybe he wasn't a good example of showing his feelings, but Ichigo at least was more expressive. _'Kaien has this damn smiling face all the time. Is he really happy or just faking it?' _Considering how his friend was over-optimistic, it was truly hard to tell. But that didn't matter. He really needed to talk to Kaien, as soon as possible! He really needed to know the answer. _'What am I to you, Kaien?' _Such a bother. After what he had done he couldn't stop think about his friend (or whoever he was). This stupid feeling from earlier childhood came back. Crush on Kaien. Maybe he'd catch him later, the school bell rang and the boy with his group of friends stood up. Another day of uncertainty.

Weeks passed. Still no courage to approach his friend and talk about that evening. No, they weren't talking with each other, at all... Unspoken distance was placed between them and was getting bigger with every second, minute, day. He was ignored.

P.E. Lesson. All boys had to practice basketball, girls – volleyball. It was a tiring day (they had 3 hours of p.e. right before ending school). Their teacher, Zaraki Kenpachi, showed no mercy to his poor students, making them run, do push-ups, run more and play dangerous games. The second hour of sports had just begun.

"All right, you man pansies! Get your fucking lazy asses here, you're going to play a dodge ball, you freaking peanut-brains understand?" All boys gulped and nodded in fear. Girls seemed to make fun of their misery. "Good. Asano and Abarai, form teams." The brown-haired coward and tattooed redhead stepped out of the crowd and played rock-paper-scissors to decide who was going to begin. Asano's paper against Abarai's rock. The brown male jumped in joy.

"YAY! Finally, I'm the first! Finally! I'm definitely picking up Ichigo!" Keigo pointed at the orange head, making Renji growl and glare at the rival captain, so Asano hid behind Kurosaki's back immediately. Ichigo glared back and turned his face away.

"Che. Madarame." Abarai called a bald headed boy, standing at the very end.

"I'm not going anywhere if Yumichika don't go too." The bald head scowled, putting his head on a boy, standing near him.

"My, Ikkaku, you don't need to be so impulsive." The black haired boy with feathers coming from his brow and sparkling aura.

"FINE! Ayasegawa comes too!" He needed to form a really strong group, but without bald guy it might be hard.

"Hey, that's not fair! You've picked two guys!" Keigo whined.

"Then pick also two, you idiot!" Renji shouted.

"So mean... Hmm... Who should it be... Chad." Keigo pointed at a big Mexican guy, who weren't even looking like a high school student. "And..." His finger was searching for another person. "Kaien!" Ichigo's eyes widened. Sure, he and Kaien were really good at dodge ball, but, in their situation, should they be in the same group? Oh, wait... There was no way Abarai would pick Kaien and Keigo had no clue what happened between them. Abarai again glared, this time at the black haired boy, but was totally ignored.

"Jesus Christ, what's taking you so damn long to pick players!" The teacher was on the edge of his nerves. "Pick up quickly! One, one, one!" Renji huffed.

"Hisagi."

"Umm... Mizuiro."

"Kira."

"...Ishida." _'Fuck no, Ishida...' _At the same time Kaien ad Ichigo thought the same, making a pale, blue eyed and haired boy glare, while correcting his glasses on his nose.

"Jagre...Jaqu... Jaqin...?" Renji had problems with spelling another player's name, so he just pointed.

"If you can't freaking say 'Jeagerjaques', then at least say 'Grimmjaw'!" A teal haired teen with rebellious look shouted and joined Abarai's team.

"Hirako."

"Che. Schiffer." Renji picked the last person and looked around. "And what the heck is it!?" The redhead shouted. "There's no one else to pick up! Teacher, how the hell are we supposed to play dodge ball with only 7 people in the team!?" Zaraki rubbed his chin in thought. Damn, it sure was to little to play. He looked at girls, thinking of cruel and crazy idea. Girls already knew what it was. Asano and Abarai blinked in confusion.

"If none of you, girls, are pussies, then fight with boys." Of course, some girls backed away, simply scared of being hit. "Che. Asano, Abarai, pick any of girls." Another recruitment was made. Keigo picked Matsumoto (Renji also wanted to take a big-boobed blond, but the perverted brown head was the first to pick), Inoue, Tatsuki, Kuchki and Hinamori. Renji was left with Soi Fon, Yourichi (well, he didn't complain), Chizuru (though she desperately wanted to be in the team with Inoue), Nemu and there was no girl left, instead of...

"YAY! Ken-chan, Pineapple's team doesn't have one girl! Can I play with them? Can I? Can I?" From behind Kenpachi's back a small, probably 10-year-old, girl with pink hair and crimson cheeks popped up from nowhere and squealed happily. It was Kusajika Yachiru, Zaraki's adopted daughter. The redhead's team roared in refusal, but the teacher's glare silenced them immediately. "Hurray! I can play!" She joined others happily and both teams had to move to their places. Kenpachi told well-know rules, though instead of usual 2 balls he ordered to bring 6 balls. Groups had some time to plan attack and defense, so everyone gathered in two small rounds.

"Okay, guys... As a captain I'd like start with-" Asano wanted to begin with his small talk, but suddenly a pale, thin hand silenced him. The blue haired geek coughed to draw everyone's attention.

"Tactics are the most important thing here. Their group is better with strength, so we need to be better with brains. The strongest among us will throw, the rest have to catch and hand ball over the strongest."

"Yeah, and we're all almighty that thrown balls will go through us." Ichigo said sarcastically.

"Kurosaki, don't interrupt. Of course dodging is important, but we need to think about the style of fighting."

"What is here to discuss? We need to beat them up as fast as we can!"

"And what about defense, you simple-minded idiot?" Ishida corrected his glass again, his eyes twitching in annoyance. "You want us to lose? Then fight alone."

"Like hell I will, four-eyes! We'll win." The orange was maximum angered, he was ready to punch the geek.

"Dumb bag of muscles."

"Idiotic geek-alien."

"Loser."

"Sucker."

"Stop it already!!" Their argument was interrupted by Arisawa Tatsuki, a tomboyish spike haired girl.

"Shut up! It's all his fault!" Both males shouted the same at Tatsuki and now the girl, irritated by childish behavior, joined the quarrel.

"T-Tatsuki-chan! Kurosaki-kun! Ishida-kun! D-Don't fight!" Everyone sighed, knowing that Inoue Orihime's begging won't work. Hirako Shinji, a tall blond with pierced tongue, seemed to be bored with whole situation; all girls wanted to stop quarrel Ishida vs. Arisawa vs. Kurosaki; Mizuiro tried to comfort sobbing Keigo, who was completely forgotten. Ichigo shouted all curses towards the glass-eyed and tomboy, when he felt a painful punch on his head. He growled and grabbed his head. It was Kaien's fist, which did the damage. The other two, participating in quarrel, were shouting curses when Sado 'Chad' Yasutora lifted them both and shook them violently.

"Thanks for help, Sado." Kaien grinned an the big boy put the students down. "Now, if we want to win, then all of us need to know what TEAMWORK is." He said it calmly, though everyone could feel some pressure of evil aura. It was silencing everyone effectively. "Well, those who are not sure of their strength, just dodge, we'll catch missed balls later. Arisawa-san, Chad, Ichigo and I are going to be attackers, so we'll be taking the front. Rangiku-san (Matsumoto), you'll be in the middle and also attack. Inoue-chan, Momo-chan, Mizuiro and Hirako – you're catching and dodging. Rukia, Keigo and Ishida- pick your places." A petite girl with purple, sobbing brown head and geek-alien blinked. Well, they were the weakest, after all.

"I-I'll join Rangiku-san." Rukia Kuchki answered.

"I want to be one of attackers!!" Keigo shouted desperately, making all attackers sigh in hopelessness.

"I-I'll be covering your backs..." Ishida mumbled in annoyance.

When everything was settled and groups shouted their motivating calls, the game started. It was one of the hardest dodge ball they ever had. Just at the beginning, Keigo, Mizuiro and Hinamori got hit and they had leave the group. Rangiku and Rukia were doing their best, the first attacking and the second catching and giving all rubber balls to attackers. Ishida were shouting some random commands, like aiming someone particular in rival group. The others had better time. Abarai and his group were just throwing and catching. His group had only two weaklings: Kira Izuru and Ulquiorra Schiffer, but both of theme were flexible enough to dodge all flying objects. After some beaten people later...

Only Kaien and Ichigo were standing against Grimmjaw, Renji, Ikkaku and... Yachiru, which seemed to be the best attacker boys had ever seen. The orange and black panted in exhaustion.

"Well, only two small fries left." The teal eyed and haired student laughed, making both his rivals glare. "Let's end this, shall we?" Everyone in his team nodded and so, the wave of rubber balls came. The didn't bother to attack back, all Ichigo and Kaien were doing was dodging. Well, sometimes, if they were lucky, they would catch another ball and throw back, but it was completely useless. The were keeping dodging and rivals throwing, until something happened. Renji's eye blinked at Grimmjaw, sending him an unknown signal. The other nodded and, with the greatest force, threw at Kaien. The sea-eyed looked in terror, when the ball from Grimmjaw almost hit his stomach. But that wasn't as terrible as the ball from Renji, which hit him directly in his face. The tactic of this double shoot was brilliant. Ichigo shouted and ran to his friend, looking at the damage. Nose was completely broken and blood was pouring down. Kenpachi chuckled at drawn blood, enjoying the view. However, everyone in Keigo's team stood up and started to ask, if the student was ok. The same thing did some rivals from opposite team. Zaraki had no other choice, but to whistle and officially end the game, with Renji's team as winners.

"Che, to stop game at this point. I was getting interesting. Kurosaki, take Shiba to the infirmary. The rest, 50 laps around the gym! Move your asses!" Everyone nodded, still concerned about Kaien's state. Ichigo grabbed his friend's shoulder and they headed towards the school nurse.

"Here, take that." Ichigo found in his pocket a small handkerchief and put it on Kaien's bleeding nose. The other nodded, taking the gift and holding. The piece of cloth started to change its color, from pure white to crimson. "This doesn't look good, at all."

"Well, I assure you it hurts even worse than it looks." Ichigo nodded, deciding to shut his mouth and not bother his friend in pain. They reached the room of school nurse, but to their surprise it was empty. There was a small note on the desk: "For coming students - if you have any minor problems, just help yourselves, leave me only a note who are you, what happened to you and what you used (I'll be definitely checking it!). If it's a life-death situation, call 911 and look for me in the biology class. Cheers, Unohana-sensei.". Ichigo growled and looked at Kaien, who had already sat on one of the nurse's beds. The handkerchief was soaked with blood and single red drops were falling on the floor. "Shit, what now?" Kaien growled. Ichigo sighed, it wasn't a life-death situation, so he was forced to handle it by himself.

"Wait a second, I'll bring everything." Having a doctor and running a family clinic was enough to teach Ichigo some basic treatments and first aid. He opened a drawer and pulled out some bandages, a gauze pad, some ice and a wet towel. He put them on a small table near him. "Show me your nose." Kaien put away the red cloth. His nose was swollen and blood was everywhere. It was crooked. "Dammit... Hold still for a moment." Kaien's eyes widened when Ichigo grabbed his nose, so he pushed the tanned hand away.

"What the hell are you doing!? It freaking hurts!!" Kaien moved back, his hands pushing Ichigo's.

"Your nose is crooked. I have to set it, so stop moving!" The orange head tried again to grab other's nose, but he met with bigger resistance.

"No way I'll let you! Stop doing it and go get Unohana-sensei!"

"I've done it plenty of freaking times! And she's now absent!" Ichigo's patience run out and he stood up. Kaien looked confused, when his friend grabbed both his wrists and, with a powerful push, he was lying on the bed with Ichigo on top of him. The way both of them were lying made the black haired feel awkward. Ichigo, again, took Kaien's nose. "Stay... STILL!" The bloody nose was twisted and Ichigo moved it roughly, setting it into the right place.

"OW, FUCK!" It felt like ages, though Ichigo let his nose go after a millisecond. Something cracked inside his nose and it made another stream of blood pour down. "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" He was rolling from side to side and screaming in pain. Ichigo helped him sit on the bed and grabbed the wet towel to wipe off some blood from his face, put the thick gauze pad under nose holes and wrapped it around the black head with bandage.

"Here, put some ice, it'll help stop the bleeding." He placed the bag between Kaien's nose and forehead. Sympathy overwhelmed Ichigo, he definitely wouldn't like to be in such a state. He had to talk to Renji... "Still hurts?" Kaien nodded, so Ichigo again looked through drawers and gave his friend two pills of painkiller.

"Thanks." Meds were swallowed immediately. Both of them decided to stay in the infirmary, until the end of P.E. Kaien took advantage of the bed and lay down, Ichigo was sitting on the place of the school nurse, near the desk. Silence... Ichigo sighed, quite saddened. Normally they would talk enthusiastically and complain about the stupid tattooed redhead and freaky teal-haired asshole.

"Say, Kaien..." Ichigo started insecurely. The aquamarine orbs landed on him, full of questioning confusion. "Do... Do you hate me?" Kaien blinked and sat up. He thought for a moment and chuckled.

"Well, if it really was necessary to set my nose, then I'll forgive you." Kaien smirked, but it seemed not to affect his companion.

"You know I'm not talking about it..." The black haired boy blinked again and, again, thought. The answer came quickly and he made a silent 'oh...'.There was another silence, none of boys dared to speak first. Kaien sighed.

"I don't hate you. Maybe what you had done was quite odd, to be precise, but I didn't want to stop you."

"What are we then, Kaien?" Ichigo had to know. Were they lovers? Friends? Enemies? Strangers? He really wanted to hear the answer he longed for, but to his disappointment Kaien answered.

"We're friends, isn't that obvious?" Ichigo's heart stopped and he paled, face suddenly turning white. "Look, I'm really sorry if you expected me that we're something more, but I... I just don't feel it..." Kaien bit his lip, thinking about appropriate use of words. "What you had done showed me that you might have deeper feelings for me. But I can't return them to you. I may love you as a brother, but nothing more." Ichigo's sight fell on the floor. Anger with sorrow were mixing together inside his brain.

"So, what you're trying to say is that it'd be better to forget what happened?"

"It's impossible to forget something like that, but I don't think I want to recall that all the time." He thought again, worried that right now his and Ichigo's friendship are on the edge of steep cliff. "You know, I also didn't tell Miyako what happened and I don't want to. Ichigo..." He moved closer and put his pale hand on tanned, seeing how miserable his friend looked. "We've been together for almost 7 years and I don't want it to be lost. No matter with who I'm talking to or with who I'm going out, you'll always be the most important to me. I'd even die for you." Ichigo felt exactly the same towards Kaien, but...

"I can't..." But only being friends, he might not be able to bear it. Kaien's eyes were scared and a small sorrow was building up within him. "I can't live like this... I'm sorry." Reluctantly, he pushed his friend's hand away and looked at the sea orbs. "Even if I say that I would be your friend, it might not work for long. I really like you, not as a friend, not as a brother and so my feelings won't change so fast. One day I might..." He felt hot tears gathering in his eyes, but he forced himself not to cry. "I might do something stupid, just like that day. And that's why it'd be better for us to stop being friends..." His own words were cutting his throat like knives. And so were they Kaien. Sometimes Ichigo was wondering how much damage could words do. Weren't actions more important then some cliché sentences? Obviously, he was wrong. Deadly wrong. The picture he had in front of his ocher eyes, this pale, miserable face with eyes, beautiful sea eyes, that started to get watery. One day he promised to himself that he'd never make his friend feel hollow. And here, today, in the school nurse's room, he was saying a few words, which were slicing through Kaien's feelings. Ichigo laughed at himself, despising his ruthlessness and lack of courage, and stood up. "P.E. classes are probably done. I'm going home." Kaien shook his head and stood up as well, grabbing Ichigo's arm to hold him for a moment.

"Wait, Ichigo!"

"It's useless, Shiba. I've already decided..." He shoved the other and ran as fast as he could, only to be far away from his ex-friend. The black haired was standing, no expression on his face, only black, hollow hole inside him. Even if it was Ichigo, who ended their friendship officially, it was all his fault. He hated talking on uneasy topics, so he tried to avoid them as much as possible. The matter with him and Ichigo, that unforgettable day they spent on touching themselves, he also tried to ignore. And that was what he got. Ichigo broke...

Autumn was ending, it was colder and colder outside, even first snowflakes started to appear. Ichigo was sitting on the school rooftop. It was the same place where he made one of his biggest mistakes – agreed to go out with Renji. Well, actually that time he was really happy, he wouldn't thought of the redhead as a sex maniac. Since the day he decided to distance himself from Kaien, he had been sitting alone and even if his friends were asking him what happened between him and the black haired, he would just ignore, or growl 'Nothing...'. It surely was painful, especially the first days. Kaien was phoning him and every time Yuzu called for Ichigo, he would just pretend to be asleep or listen to music deafeningly loud. He so wanted to talk to him, he even wanted to go and apologize like never and beg for his friend to forget what he had said. But the pride was blocking it. He knew Kaien would accept the apology, but then he wouldn't be the same, at all. Yes, it was freaking painful, the distance was killing him. He looked at the snow clouds, expecting for some snowing when suddenly he heard someone entering the roof. He thought it might be just some random students, so he ignored it.

"I though I'd meet you here, Kurosaki." This voice was too familiar and he felt himself getting red from it. What was HE doing here? Ichigo turned around with surprise to see Kaien standing in front of him. "I was looking for you, but Kurosaki was nowhere inside the school." Kurosaki... He totally hated it. But he couldn't blame Kaien, for it was him, who insisted on stopping calling by first name (and it was a little bit after their 'break up').

"What do you want, Shiba?" He also hated himself for saying to his ex-friend his surname. His voice was strange, emotionless, but it only made Shiba chuckle sadly.

"Just have something to tell you." Kaien gulped. He tried not to break himself, otherwise he would just jump and hug Ichigo tightly, bursting into tears and begging him to stop his cold acting towards him. All phone calls he made were ignored. All his attempts to talk with the orange head were also ignored. So many days had passed and it seemed even more would pass. He took a deep breath. "Kurosaki, I'm moving from Karakura." Ichigo couldn't help, but make a shocked face and gawk.

"W-What?" He sounded to concerned for his liking.

"I'm moving to Tokyo." Kaien carried on. "Dad and mom found a better job there and they decided to bring me and others." He felt slightly happy that Ichigo looked as if he cared, but he didn't expected any more than that. Ichigo gathered his lost pieces of coldness and again made his careless face. He only nodded and looked at the sky. "I thought that you should know." Ichigo nodded again. Actually, his insides were broken into pieces.

"When?" He asked simply, still holding back showing any concern.

"Tomorrow morning." Tomorrow would be the last time he'd see those sea orbs? This annoying grin? This happy-furious personality? Kaien made one of his saddest smiles and bowed before his ex-friend. "I'm happy that I've known you for so long. And I'm sorry for any troubles I made." He straightened up, invisible tears on the edge of falling. "It's farewell, then. Goodbye... Ichigo..." Not even waiting for any reply, he turned around and left the roof. Ichigo stood, completely dumbstruck. His name was said so painfully and was filled with sadness. It had never been spoken like that before. He started to laugh. It was hysteria. What he gained by ending their friendship? He felt so stupid, almost suicidal...

Tomorrow morning...

Kuukaku was shouting at her mother, who didn't approved taking all her bags with all bizarre stuff she loved to collect. Ganjyu was helping his father to take all the luggage and mount it on the roof of their car. Everyone were in hurry and excited about moving. Everyone, except Kaien. Yesterday, he said goodbye to all his friends, making them cry, wish luck and assure they would be sending him letters. He exchanged addresses with almost everyone in his class. But he didn't dare to show it to Ichigo. He tried to say to himself, that maybe Ichigo cared and was hiding it, but he couldn't do anything. Sigh escaped from his lips when the thought of seeing him before his departure blinked in his mind. He knew it was impossible for Ichigo to come.

"NO! My noble friends are going to leave me alone! I SHALL GIVE YOU MY SUPER KUROSAKI FAREWELL GIFT!" A familiar voice rang in his ear, it was Ichigo's father. He looked through the window and saw whole Kurosaki family coming to say good-bye. Wait... WHOLE? His aquamarine eyes must be making fool of him, because he recognized the orange locks, accompanied with tanned face and immortal scowl. Why Ichigo came here? He didn't know, but decided to stay in his room, maybe his parents won't say where he was. "How are you doing, my old friend!?" Isshin hugged Mr. Shiba, making him laugh and hug back.

"It's been a long time, Isshin. I'm quite sad that we have to leave this town." Yato made a sad expression, making the oldest Kurosaki cry in sympathy. "I see you brought your kids with you." Yuzu, Karin and Ichigo bowed their heads in greeting. "I bet we all are going to miss you."

"Che, as if I'm going to miss that little midget!" Kuukaku pointed at Karin.

"The same goes to you, you gorilla." Karin pointed at Kuukaku.

"Girls, girls. You may say it now, but you'll notice one day, that you can't live without each other and that your arguments are just your way to show affection and say 'I really love you'!" Isshin tried to draw everyone's attention and to calm down girls, but he met their shout 'SHUT UP, GOAT-FACE!' and so he tried to find a corner, where he could sob.

"And so you came, Ichigo-chan." Mrs. Shiba gave her cheerful smile, making the orange head embarrassed and look away. "Kaien should be inside the house in his room."

"N-No, I don't..." Ichigo knew that saying 'I don't want to see him' would be just plainly rude. Miira blinked in confusion and sighed in worry. Seeing her face saddened Ichigo changed his mind. "I-I'll go and s-see him!" He rushed into the house, slamming the door nervously. Mrs. Shiba smiled sadly and moved to her husband, who wrapped his hand around her shoulders and kissed gently her cheek. Isshin also sighed, expression changed to serious.

"I really wonder what happened between those two..." Miira looked at the window, where Kaien's room was.

"Whatever it was, we shouldn't be ones to interrupt." Isshin claimed. "They're old enough to solve their own problems."

"Yeah, that reminds me of the times, when those two were fighting with each other and we had to stop them and make them apologize." Mr. Shiba also added some words. "But, back then, they were only kids."

"Friendships begins, friendships ends... Though I'd be really glad, if those two made up." Both men nodded at Miira's wishful thinking.

While adults were thinking about two boys, Kaien heard knocking on his door. He looked through the window, Ichigo not to bee seen. Dammit, so he was behind the door. With a deep breath, he stood up and pulled a door knob. It was him.

"What do you want?" He didn't mean to sound so harsh, actually, he wanted to glomp Ichigo.

"Your mom wanted me to see you." Again, this emotionless facade... Kaien knew kicking Ichigo out would make questions, so he only sighed and let his ex-friend in. Ichigo looked around. Everything that Kaien was collecting was gone, the only things left were a desk, a wardrobe and a bed. Everything was becoming more and more empty. He really wanted to get out of this place or make Kaien disappear. "All your stuff are in the car, I assume?"

"You assumed it right." It was a hollow conversation. Oh, how he wished everything would change. He wasn't even sure, if he liked him ONLY as a brother. "You still want me to become your lover?" Ichigo's eyes grew big. Did he misheard something or Kaien got insane? The black head looked at the floor, thinking how in the Heaven's name he could ask such a thing. I heard small steps, growing louder and louder towards him. The tanned hand grabbed his chin gently and made his eyes meet with chocolate orbs. They were mixed and full of emotions. Just like he used to be. But this emotion was a saddening one. "Ichigo..."

"You know that I would never do something you don't want to do. That's why, even if I died for it, I'll never try to force you." Something inside Kaien blinked. It was unreadable for him, but that thing seemed to make its move. Kaien leaned closer and put his mouth on Ichigo's cheek, kissing it gently. Ichigo froze, not sure how he was supposed to react at this 'odd' affection. The meaning of this kiss was known to him and the only thing he could say was: "Farewell, Kaien."

**AG-RO-TAG's NOTE!!!**

**It seems like a lame chapter to me... But Ichigo and Kaien parted. And it doesn't seem they'll be together for long (I'm so cruel xD) But fear not! I'll quicken things up ;P**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Chapter 4

„Destroy to build stronger... Is this definition of bond?"

It wasn't as hard as he thought at the beginning. Sooner or later, he started to cope with this small feeling of emptiness. The environment became so strange to him, even though he had known it for so long. Behavior changed slightly – no change for others and a big change inside himself. First weeks were unbearable, next months were odd, another years were normal. Graduation came and passed by, leaving him in the new space of adulthood. The time, when he had to make his decisions for further life. The university time... 3 years passed. School ended, but not his education. The train was moving through one of Japanese countryside, which was exposing its natural beauty and peacefulness. Giving a hard sigh, he was looking through the window, cursing himself for not bringing any book to read or anything to do. Pictures moving in fast speed when thoughtful eyes were forcing his brain to image many complicated things.

_'And what if I see him?'_

This thought was making his stomach twist. He had 1:300000 (or even more) chance to meet this face in that place or somewhere around he was supposed to stay. He couldn't say the same about the university, 'cause... well, miracle happens? Though he wasn't sure if he'd call this 'a miracle'. More like 'a catastrophe'. Anyway...

"Next stop: Tokyo University. Arrival time: 5 minutes." Speakers announced, making him sigh. He was so close to that place, it made his heart skip. The scenery also changed. No trees, but heavy buildings. No empty roads, but streets full of people. No countryside, but city. How couldn't he notice the change? Again, HE was the cause.

"Station: Tokyo University. Station: Tokyo University." It was his stop so he grabbed his heavy-like-hell bag and other more-heavy-than-hell bag with food, prepared by his family. Bumping into strange looking strangers, he made through crowd of people and out of the station. Comparing to the place he had been living for his whole life, here was totally bizarre. Hurry, movement, stress – three suitable for him words to describe the city.

And that was the day Kurosaki Ichigo started his student life in Tokyo...

Sometime later...

"What the hell do you mean by saying 'NO ROOMS AVAILABLE?! I booked one for me through the phone about two weeks ago!!" The orange locks were shining with fury, though his brown eyes were more scary. The receptionist, small girl with two black pigtails and sad look, shook in fear while being scolded. "I'm not going everywhere without my room, dammit! Check this damn reservation again!" The girl was in nearly crying state, so she went out of her desk, looking for someone to help her. Ichigo huffed. He hated that form of incompetency, especially when he was supposed to start his university classes in a week. The girl showed up again, this time accompanied by a tall, blond man with green-white striped hat, old-fashioned clothing and sandals. The stranger grinned widely and grabbed a green-white fan.

"Welcome, welcome, my dear guest! How may I help you?" the guy, who seemed to be the owner of the hotel, greeted the orange head.

"I made a reservation and was supposed to move in today, but it said no room is free." Ichigo tried his best to say it calmly, but the owner way of listening to him was getting on his nerves.

"Whoa, that's probably a little mistake! I'm sure we're going to solve that matter! Would you mind telling me your name, Mr...?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Oh, yes, Kurosaki-san! I'll search for your name immediately! Ururu, could you please hand me the list of our guests?" The black haired girl gave her owner the list with all names. "Hmm... That's weird. Your name is truly not signed here, I don't under-Oh my! And what's that doing there?" Ichigo was again ready to explode, when a little piece of paper caught the owner's eye. He took it and read everything quickly. It was a reservation, made by Kurosaki Ichigo. "What a silly thing! It must have been detached! But no worries, everything seems to be alright now! Ururu, give our new lodger a key to room 15. Kurosaki-san is going to stay here for a whole year!" Ururu handed a small, silver key, with a '15' engraved, over the student. "Enjoy your stay, Kurosaki-san, and remember! All problems goes to your faithfull owner of the hotel, Urahara Kisuke!" Ichigo nodded and thanked all the stuff. He felt quite guilty about scolding the receptionist girl, but it wasn't his fault that his reservation got lost. He reached the number 15 and opened the door. There was a small kitchen, even smaller bathroom with toilet and medium living room/dinning room/bedroom (room 3 in 1, Ichigo thought ironically). But then he couldn't complain, everything was on its place and seemed to be simple in use. _'So that's how my independent life is supposed to look like, huh?' _He was quite worried. His dad insisted on giving enough cash to pay for the room for whole year, but he refused to take it. If he really wanted to live independent life, he had to earn his own money. _'I'll unpack my things later, now it's time to see region.' _He took a shower first and changed into cleaner clothes (it was cold outside, so he put on his red jacket and a black cap). The surroundings didn't seem to be bad, he was going to live in rather clean district. There was a small shop near, cute cafe, all kinds of shops with clothes and 10 minutes further he found a big shopping centre. The rest of the day was for him, so he decided to check the centre thoroughly. Inside, there was almost EVERYTHING. Fun centre with bowling and arcade, all exclusive boutiques, lots of restaurants, shops and even a big waterfall-like fountain. This place was spacious and Ichigo found himself gawking at the sight. He shook his head and made his usual scowl. Shopping centers were really fun, but not when you were alone. Maybe if he made some new friends in the university he'd hang out with them here. But still, he was an outsider...

"Ichigo...?" Someone said his name out loud in a questioning tone. That was weird, he didn't remember knowing anyone from Tokyo, if he wasn't counting HIM. And that voice definitely didn't belong to HIM. Yet, it was still familiar to... "My freaking god! Ichigo!" He turned around and regreted it, because a medium-high girl with long, black hair and quite big breasts hugged him so tight he wasn't able to breath. Who would have thought, that he would meet HIS younger sister, Shiba Kuukaku? "What a fucking surprise! So much time passed! Long time no see! Ichigo! If not this stupid hat you're wearing, I'd recognize you immediately!"

"K-Kuukaku-c-chan... I c-can't... breathe..." He admitted it was a big surprise to him, too. Meeting her here was a sign, that the risk of meeting HIM was even higher. Squeezing all air from his lungs, Kuukaku decided to stop the torture. She was smirking at the sight of suffering Ichigo. "Gah... T-Thanks... Nice... to see you... too..." The breathing was normalized and he looked at the girl, which had the same light blue-green eyes with long eyelashes like his ex-friend. Though something was different. She completely changed her style of clothing and make-up. Her hair had some red highlights and her ears were pierced more, than once. She was dressed in black jacket, red top and brown miniskirt, standing on dangerous high-heeled boots. Where the old image had gone? "R-Really long time, no see..."The girl grinned. Her eyes had lots of black-blue eyeshadow, making her face psycho. To tell the truth, Kuukaku was like a small female copy of HIM, so seeing her appearance and comparing it to HIM was really making the orange sick. "How are you?"

"Perfectly fine, as you can see." Ichigo doubted her statement.

"You've changed a lot." The meaning of 'a lot' wasn't enough for Ichigo to express his impression.

"So have you!" _'Comparing me to you, I don't think so...' _Again she smiled one of her dangerous smiles. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Ah, I'll be studying in the Tokyo University, medicine to be precise."

"Wow, that's fucking cool, man!" The way she was speaking was really inappropriate for girls, in Ichigo's opinion. This city changes people, after all. "Nii-san also got into the smoking TU! That'll be blazing if you two... Oh, wait! Why won't you two go and see each other now!? Come on!" Ichigo blinked, firstly at odd words Kuukaku used, secondly at what she wanted to do. Was he going to see HIM!?

"W-W-Wait, Kuukaku-chan! I don't think it's a good idea!"

"That's an awesome light bulb, man! Idea worth fucking A!"

"...what?"

"You two haven't seen each other for 3 damn long years! Actually, my whole family haven't heard YOUR freaking voice for 3 years, 'cause the goat-face, the midget and the fairy at least were phoning us!" She pouted, but got confused when Ichigo stopped her dragging to only-she-knows place. She glared at him and tried again to move the orange head, but the other put some resistance. "Why the fuck you don't want to see my brother? Aren't you a goddamn friends?" Ichigo furrowed and broke free from girl's grip. Maybe he was acting like a jerk...

"I don't have time for that. I have to go to-"

"If you didn't have the freaking time, then you wouldn't be right here, right now." She interrupted before he could come up with a believable excuse. Dammit, her sense of lying was sharp. She huffed and put her right hand on his left shoulder, making him look in her eyes. "Look, if you two had a fight back then or quarreled, I don't give a shit. But you had been friends for almost 7 years and I bet you had had fucking worse times before that stupid problem, a few weeks before our departure. 3 damn years passed, you two grew up, you two now probably are not bothered by what happened back then, so freaking make up!" Ichigo was surprised. Kuukaku was even more concerned about his lost friendship than he was. All of the sudden, her face turned from angry-irritated to quite saddened. "After leaving our old Karakura, Nii-san was quite lifeless. He looked so miserable, when mom or dad was receiving the phone from goat-face and when I or Ganjyu were talking to Karin or Yuzu. You never wanted to talk to him, so he was never asked to pick up the phone." Again, she got angry. "To be honest, I really fucking hated you back then. So was Ganjyu." Ichigo's mood went down. He felt like an asshole. Everything she said was true. He even remembered the times, when dad and sisters were begging him for one little word to HIM. "We were flaming you every freaking time your family was calling. Nii-san figured out how we despised you and tried to calm us down. He was freaking telling us that he had done something bad to you and so he expected you not to call! We couldn't fucking get it!" Her hold was strong enough to make Ichigo slightly suffocate, but she calmed down, again anger backing up. "After around 2 years we cooled down and Nii-san seemed to accept the fact that he wouldn't hear anything from you. He wasn't so down like before and he made a few new friends. I was still thinking about you and him, but decided to stop blaming you for everything. Unfortunately, Ganjyu still hates you." Ichigo expected that, after all he and Ganjyu weren't on good terms since their childhood. "You know, if you don't want to see him, then I'll just go. Though, I think you owe him saying a small frigging 'Hello', at least!" She huffed and turned her back at him, slowly going away.

"Wait!" His insides were really moved by her words that forced him to stop Kuukaku. The black haired girl turned around and gave him a questioning look. "Umm... I'll go with you... to say-GUH!! HEY, LET ME GO!" He couldn't finish his confession when Kuukaku grabbed his neck and, with a big smile on her scary features, dragged him to the place, where whole Shiba family was. It was Sunday, and every Sunday her siblings and parents decided to go to the Tokyo Shopping Center to grab a dinner or look through clothes and other stuff. Kuukaku go so excited that she didn't notice her brother, Ganjyu, who got hit by her accidentally. "Oh, you're here..."

"It hurts, Nee-chan! Watch where you..." 16-year old Ganjyu, a bid, muscular kid with not so pretty face and eternal scowl just noticed something odd, coming along with his scary sister. He was dressed in macho-style and wearing sunglasses to hide his small eyes, also sea-green, also with long eyelashes. "And what the fuck are you doing here?" His words were spoken to Ichigo, who tried to get rid of the neck pain, caused by overexcited Shiba girl. The moment he erased some of the pain was the moment Ganjyu grabbed his rugged shirt and shook him violently. "I asked: what the fuck are YOU doing here?" Ichigo blinked. Damn, even though he was 3 years older from Ganjyu, that kid had a really tight grip.

"Ganjyu, stop it. He's here to see Nii-san." Kuukaku said in a threatening tone, still having on her mind all Ganjyu's hate towards Ichigo.

"Che, as if I'm going to let that son of a bitch see our Onii-chan. Over my stinky dead body." The grip tightened, Ichigo was sucking painfully for air. Kuukaku grabbed her little brother's hand and tried to pull him away from the orange head.

"GAH!" Oh, he was so going to have bruises after that.

"Fucking stop it! You're hurting him!" The girl shouted.

"So the fuck what!? He deserves it!" Ichigo was slowly losing consciousness and two Shiba siblings were fighting with each other, brother suffocating him and sister trying to set him free. This scene must look funny in front of people, though some of theme were terrified and called for security. Fortunately, no guards came, when Ichigo heard someone shouting.

"GANJYU! KUUKAKU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" HIS voice. This was definitely HIS voice, though it was hard for Ichigo to hear it clearly, he was still dizzy after lack of oxygen. "STOP FREAKING STRANGLING HIM!" And with those words Ichigo finally gasped for sweet air. Ganjyu glared at everyone, at his furious sister, at coughing orange head and at his coming big brother. "What the hell has gotten into you!? You can't walk and make strangers suffocate!" Kuukaku blinked in cofusion and looked at Ichigo. He had his back turned on them and the black cab was hiding his orange locks completely. It was not like Ichigo wanted to stand like this, he was just trying to catch his breath.

"But that fucking bastard deserved it!" Ganjyu whined, but was shut immediately by his brother.

"You two, go to mom and dad, they're looking for you. And go fast, so you won't have any problems later!" HE shouted and pointed at the nearest restaurant. Ganjyu mumbled something under his breath and Kuukaku smirked, both of them walking away The oldest Shiba sibling huffed in annoyance and moved to the loudly breathing stranger. "I'm horribly sorry for those two, sir. Is everything with you alri-..." The boy couldn't believe his own eyes, when he saw the face of strangled man. Ichigo didn't move, too afraid to look up. Somehow it was comfortable for him that HE hadn't recognized him before, but now everything changed. He sighed and decided to challenge the familiar aquamarine orbs with his ocher ones. "I... I-I... I-I-Ichi...go?" It was KAIEN. Despite his two freaky siblings, he hadn't changed at all. No dangerous look, no cliché macho look, but the same old Kaien. Blood was rushing through his veins, heart beating like a madman. His throat was blocked by an invisible ball.

"H-Hi..." It was the only thing he could choke out. Ichigo wished to make himself disappear or bury himself under the ground. Both of them stood still, gawking and brain dead. Ichigo though he had to say something more, he thought about more complex speeches, but nothing came out. "Hi, K-Kaien..." For so long he wasn't using this name. He even tried to delete it from his mind. But now it didn't mattered. Suddenly, Ichigo's eyes grew wide. Kaien moved closer and embraced him tightly, burying his pale face in the orange boy's neck. All emotions of loneliness and missing flew from his old friend to him. To be embraced by Kaien like this... He dreamed about it billion times. The hug was returned and now both boys were kneeling on the shopping center's floor and embracing each other tenderly. Ichigo felt so relieved, the moment almost made him cry. "Kaien, I-"

"Don't speak!" The black haired boy growled. "I don't want to hear your voice right now." The tanned face paled. Was he hated now? Was Kaien furious? "You fucking bastard..." The voice was cracking, indicating coming wave of tears. The boy was whispering dangerously. "3 years without even a damn word. A WORD. And now you're here and just saying 'Hi' to me... I've been telling myself that if I happen see your fucking face, I'll just pretend you're a complete stranger and ignore you. Or, at least, I'd fucking beat you into a pulp so you would be able to feel the pain in your next 9 lives. AND WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING!?" His embrace tightened, so Ichigo's. Kaien started to shake, making the other wonder whether it was form anger or sadness, or maybe joy? "I'm freaking HUGGING you! It wasn't supposed to look like this, do you hear me!?" It wasn't a whisper, but a really loud shout. Ichigo nodded silently. Kaien wanted to hate him, but it was useless. The bond between them was too strong to be broken, even by him. Of course, it got pretty damaged but neither Ichigo nor Kaien could forget about each other. "AGAIN, you made me do some strange things! That's fucking unfair!"

"I'm sorry..." Ichigo used the silence, which appeared a little after Kaien's last shout. "I'm really sorry..." The black haired seemed to calm down a bit and a dark aura surrounded him and Ichigo.

"Oh, I really hope you're awfully sorry..." Kaien's head straightened up and he was directly facing Ichigo, warm sea gaze changing into icy-death glare."...because I won't let you get away with this...." Ichigo gulped loudly, afraid of the scary face of his old friend. "3 damn long years. You owe me 3 years. And I don't care how or when you're going to pay this debt, but you should know I won't show you any mercy..." His face came closer, Ichigo was shaking in fright. "And don't you ever dare to disappoint me again or I'll destroy you before you say 'I've just shoved my balls'. Do you understand that? You'll be dead."

"Y-Yes, s-sir..." The orange head shook his head in approval, making Kaien glare for the last time and change mood. Ichigo was dumbfounded, when suddenly his old friend started to laugh.

"Eh, you don't even know how much I missed your eternal scowl, dumbass." When he stopped his laughter, Kaien wiped off his tears of joy and looked at his confused friend with a warm smile. "I was thinking if you're gonna get into the TU or not. And it seems miracles happens!"

"Hey, what the hell!? I got there, because I freaking studied a lot! It wasn't that easy, you know?" Ichigo growled, meeting for the first time in three years Kaien's annoying jokes.

"That's what I'm telling you about miracles..." The black haired smirked. When was the last time he made fun of Ichigo? A long before his departure... Something rang and Kaien felt his pocket vibrating. He picked up a small, black mobile phone and checked the incoming call. Ichigo waited patiently for him to reply. "Uh... Hello?"

"Kaien! What is taking you so long to answer the phone!?" A loud, female voice could be heard.

"Nice to hear you too, Kiyone. What's up?"

"You know, it's about our party tonight! Remember, the one we've been planing for two weeks!? I thought I'll invite some people, who will go with us to the university! Sentarou will bring more snacks, so can you bring some booze!?" Though it was supposed to be a private call, Ichigo could clearly hear what the girl was saying. As he remembered, Kaien wasn't a party type, so it was quite surprising. "Are you in the TSC with your family!? I'm bringing stupid Sentarou with me and we're gonna meet you in 10 minutes!" Ichigo sighed and made a sad expression. The reunion is going to end and he hoped they would at least go somewhere and talk. Kaien took a glance at his orange friend and sighed, too.

"Oh, yeah... The party..." His voice wasn't as enthusiastic as Kiyone expected. "Well, I think I..." He again looked at Ichigo, who seemed to listen to his conversation with a small disappointment. He smiled at him, making him confused. "You know, something came up and I don't think I can go." Kaien grinned, when he noticed his companion's face lit up.

"WHAT!? You're freaking kidding, right!?" Not only the female voice was heard, but also Ichigo's expression shouted the same question.

"Nope, I'm deadly serious."

"Then what the hell are we supposed to do!? Everyone wanted to see you! And what about our booze!?"

"I'm sorry, but if you have any spare money, then buy everything."

"But-!

"Sorry again. See you tomorrow!" And he hang up.

"Are you sure it's alright with them?" Ichigo asked quietly, still not believing what Kaien had done a moment ago.

"I've been forced so many times to go with them to all parties in our city. One refusal won't be a problem." The orange head nodded, not wanting to interfere with Kaien's private matters. It was still surprising that he acted so normal, as if the matter between them had never happened. Recalling his feelings for Kaien, Ichigo felt quite uneasy. "Okay, so… You're coming with me!" The boy grabbed the tanned wrist.

"What the-!? Where the hell are you taking me!?"

"Oh, I'm dragging you to my family! I'm sure they'd like to see your face!"

"But-!"

"No 'buts'. You're in debt, remember?"

"I know that, but-!"

"And what I'll do if you make me unhappy?"

"…"

"Well?"

"…kill me…"

"Good, as long as you understand." He made a cocky smile while they were entering the restaurant, where whole Shiba family got surprised to see the orange head Kurosaki (Kuukaku made a Cheshire-cat-like grin and Ganjyu glared with full hate).The dinner was awkward at the beginning, Ichigo didn't know what to say or how to behave, even thought everyone were acting so normal. Then it was strange, after every question answered by Kurosaki, the youngest Shiba made a sarcastic comment or just interrupted him. However, he had to stop his hateful acting towards the guest, because Kaien was darkly glaring at him and even stomped a few times on his foot under the table. The main topic of everyone's conversation were memories of the past times and plans for future. Ichigo found out that Kaien picked Arts in the TU and also Teaching course. Well, with his talent and good way of teaching, it was no surprise. After two hours everyone stood up and left the place. Shiba parents decided to go on a date, like they were doing when they were young. Kuukaku had an appointment with her friends. Ganjyu said out loud that he don't want to be near the sickening orange head, so he just went away. And so, both boys were alone. Kaien was really curious about where Ichigo was living, so he was whining and threatening until Ichigo gave up and lead to the hotel. The way to his apartment was silent, none of them wanted to say anything. Or they were too embarrassed to start the conversation first. How ironic, 3 years without a word and they couldn't make a simple dialogue. Ichigo found the right building and opened the door of the room '15'. Kaien chuckled silently, thinking how the door number suited his friend's name perfectly (Ichi - one, Go - five).

"It's kind of small…" The words were spoken as if it was Ichigo's fault for having a little room. The guest took of his shoes and jacket and inspected the place, where his friend was supposed to live in the nearest year.

"Well, for me it would be large enough." He moved to the kitchen, smiling at its tiny, yet adorable size. "I'm jealous. I'd also like to live alone."

"Yeah, though I'll need to find a job if I don't want to be thrown out." His friend was moving to the '3 in 1' room.

"Wow, a bed with a use of sofa. And it's quite big." Kaien jumped on the bed to check the mattress. Ichigo swallowed when he heard the creaking sound, made by Kaien. He cursed his sick imagination. "Well, soft enough." The black haired decided to lie on the mattress and stretch his arms with a big smile on his face. Again, Ichigo's fantasies ran wild and he had to turn his back on Kaien to hide his unexpected blush. What the hell was he thinking?

"U-Um, you want to drink something?" He mumbled, still not facing his friend.

"Hmm, tea would be nice." He sat up again, quite intrigued by the orange's behavior. Ichigo nodded and went to the kitchen. He opened the first shelf… empty. Another one… the same. It occurred him immediately.

"Fuck… I haven't bought anything in the shop…" Kaien blinked and laughed, Ichigo felt more embarrassed with every second.

"That's fine, I can have a glass of water from the tap." Even if his friend said so, this didn't make him feel any better. But he didn't have any choice, so he took two glasses, poured some water and gave it to Kaien. "Thanks." Ichigo nodded and wanted to stand near the wall, when the black haired grabbed his hand. "Where are you going? This bed is big enough for both of us." Again, Ichigo froze. Was he turning into some kind of pervert? Kaien made a questioning look, so he just nodded and sat down a little too nervously. It was quite obvious for him that bringing his old friend here wasn't a good idea. Through last 3 years he had to deal with his loss and forgetting wasn't an option. His imagination about Kaien was too big. The same scene from THAT day came to his mind. How he felt so hot, how he made his friend feel pleasurable, how he was getting turned on with every thrust, every kiss, every moan… "WHAT?" He snapped out of his thoughts, realizing how red he was. Kaien jumped in surprise and looked with confusion. "Eh…I-I thought you said something."

"I haven't said a word." The boy replied, still puzzled. Ichigo nodded and tried to focus on his glass of water. He tried to look at Kaien unseen. The other was taking a sip from his own glass and when he ended, he sighed in relief, lips all wet and slightly parted. And then he looked at Ichigo, who was just staring at him. "You're alright?" The orange shook his head violently and looked away, deep crimson coloring his face. "You look like you're bothered with something." Ichigo shook again in negative response, alarmed by drawing attention of Kaien. "Are you feeling okay? You're all red."

"T-That's probably from fever…" Made up sickness would be a good excuse to throw Kaien away and stop thinking about stupid ideas. He didn't want to lose control, again.

"I don't think so." The pale face moved closer, only few centimeters away from flamed Ichigo, who blinked from confusion and scare. "You think it's hard to figure you out? Your eyes are screaming for me." The brown eyes looked in terror of being caught. Damn Kaien and his sharp sixth sense. He felt his blood and adrenaline rushing all over his body. His hands wanted to grab his friend and take him. He turned his away, but Kaien got closer.

"You'd better go." His breathing hitched, when he felt the other's body mildly touching

"So I was right."

"Whatever, just go home!" His body was shaking with want and Kaien was not helping him with his self-restraint.

"Why is that?"

"Shut up and stay away from me!"

"I don't want to!"

"Dammit, Kaien!" The orange head grabbed others shoulders and pined the boy on the bed. They were looking at each other, Kaien shocked and Ichigo angered. "You freaking don't understand. The last thing I want is to hurt you. And now the first thing I want is to fuck you, so don't mock with me and go away!" The aquamarine eyes looked in confusion, but they got colder and the black haired frowned.

"Why is it always about what YOU want?" His wrists were set free and he slightly got up, face directly facing Ichigo's. "Why the hell doesn't my word count? Must I accept everything you want?" The change was shocking and the orange was speechless. Suddenly, his friend moved closer and kissed him softly. Ichigo blinked and noticed how the other was blushing and how his eyes were glittering. "Care to ask what I want now?" Ichigo swallowed, still not sure about Kaien's further actions.

"What do you want?" He asked and again, another kiss was given, this time longer and deeper.

"I want you." Something in Ichigo cracked. The leash of restraint, which was trying to hold his desire, broke. The way Kaien whispered his wish, the way he was looking so needy and his ignored want was too much for him. He lay on the top of Kaien and kissed him hungrily. His tongue got full access to his friend's mouth and it seemed to be restless. He wanted to violate him, make him shiver from pain and pleasure, he wanted it so badly. Every moan coming from the black haired boy sent him waves of desire. Kaien moved his flushed face away, trying to catch his breath after mind-blowing make out, exposing his pale neck. Ichigo took the invitation and started to kiss smooth skin, feeling other's hands running through his orange locks. His tanned hand moved under Kaien's shirt, touching slim chest tenderly and forcing another series of moans. Damn, it was so hard for him to control his need of holding the other forcefully and fuck him rawly. But he kept saying to himself that this way would be even better for them both. His hand moved to his well-shaped abdomen, slowly going down and under Kaien's trousers. Felling Ichigo's fingers brushing his arousal made his breathing quicken. The sensation felt really good and he wanted even more, so he lifted his hips.

"Kaien..." Ichigo whispered into other's ear while abusing delicate earlobe. "Are you really sure about this?" His left hand smoothed the black haired head, while the right moved up and down in slow tempo. This slowness was making Kaien go crazy.

"Ngh... Ye-aah..." It was getting faster and hotter. The touch was too good and he wasn't aware that he started to move with pumping. Ichigo was staring at Kaien's face. The red color was really juicy and matched perfectly with half-lidded sea gaze and messy black hair. His mouth was parted, giving either loud panting or long moaning. This was the second time he could see such a beautiful sight. It was as addicting as the pleasure Kaien was receiving. His blood was pulsing and he knew his friend was so close to his limit, so he quickened the pace even more. "Ah! Ahh-I-chi...Haa...Ichigo, I'm... close... Ahhh! MPHM!" Just when he wanted to cry in pleasure, the orange head locked his lips in deep kiss and muffled the sound. It was as he was swallowing all the shout of ecstasy and it was really turning him on. Kaien came on the tanned hand, riding out his heat as much as he could. Later he relaxed, breathing heavily. Trying to save the picture inside his mind, Ichigo looked at him from above and kissed gently on his forehead. Kaien looked up, seeing the orange head was backing away, so he caught the tanned hand and didn't let go. "What are you doing? We're not done yet." His voice was hoarse from his high. Ichigo send him a questioning look.

"You want to go all the way?"

"Of course I want, you thick-headed idiot!" Kaien sat up and wrapped his arms around Ichigo's neck. "You left me agonizing for 3 years, with my head occupied by the images of the evening, when we did it for the first time. Through that time I was only thinking about you." His face was serious and Ichigo couldn't help, but feel pure happiness inside. "I've been waiting for 3 years, so don't you dare to leave me now..." And so he kissed deeply, moving closer and closer, that he was already on the top of Ichigo and sitting on his lap. The orange head started with taking Kaien's shirt off and tossing it somewhere in his room. His shirt also disappeared and both boys were making out passionately, touching their chests and smoothing their hair. Kaien could feel himself getting turned on again, so he started to move on Ichigo's lap, rubbing their clothed members. Both of them moaned through their kiss and Ichigo decided to get rid of their pants. While trying to take off their left clothes, he kissed the pale skin roughly, leaving small trail of red marks and receiving small whimpers. Kaien let his friend throw his pants a boxers away and he was sitting completely naked. He could feel Ichigo's gaze on him, so he turned his head away in embarrassment. Why the hell didn't he feel secure now, just like he had been before? Firstly, Ichigo wasn't staring at his naked body like now. Secondly, last time he had been forced to have sex, so he just didn't care about being seen. And finally, he was drunk... Ichigo must have noticed his partner's embarrassment, because he moved closer and kissed him tenderly.

"You're really beautiful, Kaien." The black headed blushed even deeper.

"D-Don't say that..." Actually, those words made him feel really special.

"I will say that." He wrapped his arms around the slim waist. "And even more." His hand was moving down until he reached Kaien's entrance. The other yelped at the contact. "I want to make you feel good."

"I think I've heard that before." Kaien smirked, before he felt something entering him from behind. The feeling was really strange, but not as painful as it was on the first time.

"If that's the case, then I will make you feel better." Another thing was added inside him and this time he felt himself being stretched. Ichigo moved his fingers in and out of Kaien, hoping to find the trigger to his partner's greater pleasure. With every second the intrusion was getting more and more uncomfortable for the boy, but then he felt Ichigo's fingers touch something inside of him, that made him moan loudly. Ichigo smirked after reaching his goal and hit the spot a few times, savoring sounds of pleasure, which Kaien was giving. "I'll be going in." He whispered to his friend, who seemed to be in bigger need than he was. Ichigo analyzed the position they were in, Kaien on the top of him with his legs spread and him, on the bottom. "Do you want to do it this way? Ngh!" He felt the pale hand grabbing his member and positioning it under himself. "Kaien..." The black haired started to go down, sinking inside of him Ichigo's arousal. The sudden heat and tightness all over him made the orange head groan and cover his face with his hands. Kaien bit his bottom lip to hold back his cry and stopped for a moment. The entering was damn painful and Ichigo's was too big for him. How he wished he was at least slightly drunk, so he wouldn't be bothered that much. Ichigo felt his friends hesitation, so he placed both his hands on slim hips and pushed them down. He was fully in.

"Fuck!" Kaien cursed loudly, letting single tears escape from his sea eyes. "Don't move me! It hurts!"

"Sorry, but you'll get used to it faster." Even if he said that, he really wanted to move. Not just 'move', but 'move really fast'. But he really didn't want to hurt Kaien. Actually, he knew what his friend was going through. After all, he had been fucked many times by many men. Probably this sign of sympathy was the only thing that held him from being violent. "Are you okay?"

"Just... give me a minute..." The intensity of pain was gradually dropping, but it was still troublesome. The tanned hand touched his bare erection and pumped it lightly to relax him. He moaned softly and decided to move. Ichigo watched as his partner lifted up and fell down in a slow rhythm. At first it seemed as if Kaien was really concentrated on the movement, but everything changed, when Ichigo's member hit the pleasurable spot. "Ngh... Ahh..." He lifted himself faster and he felt Ichigo under him was also moving up and down. "Ah... Ah... Ichigoo..."

"Kaien..." Ichigo was using both his hands to move the black haired faster. "Ngh... Does it... feel good?"

"Ah... Yesss... Ichigo...." Kaien embraced the orange head tightly, his sinking and lifting no longer controlled. "I want...Haaa..."

"What do you want?" Ichigo ran his hand through Kaien's chest and rubbed his nipple, making the other moan.

"Ah... want...Ah! More!" Ichigo bit other's neck painfully, but instead of pain the black haired felt even more intense pleasure. Kaien clawed his nails in his friends back, also giving a masochistic pleasure to the orange. "Haaa...Haaa! Ichigo! Ichigo!"

"Come, Kaien. Come with me." He grabbed Kaien's head and they kissed, though the word 'passionate' was not enough to describe its heat and lust. "Ka...Kaien! Gh!" Ichigo cried and came first, filling Kaien's insides. It was so wet and even hotter that the other couldn't bear it any longer and came as well, shouting Ichigo's name a few times, until the high was ridden out. The boy collapsed on the orange head, trying to find his normal breathing. Ichigo embraced Kaien tightly and pulled himself out of the exhausted friend. The other was dazed and snuggled into the broad tanned chest. For a moment the orange head had a strange thought. Was this really a reality? If not, then he'd rather be killed immediately, before this dream ended. After 3 years he had a chance to fall into his friend's... Correction, just-lover's arms and embrace him tightly. And never let go. "Kaien?" He ran his hand through raven black hair, hoping to get a response.

"Yes?" The answer was said sleepily, meant the other was already drifting to sleep. Ichigo caught some air to say something, but then he got silent (well, he made something like a 'Ee..' sound). Kaien looked up, curious about what Ichigo wanted to say.

"Um... Nevermind." The orange head looked away and blushed. In their circumstances he couldn't just say IT. Hadn't he hurt Kaien's feelings before? And what if the other would react in an opposite way? "Goodnight." Kaien blinked a few times , before he gave a warm smile and cuddled against Ichigo even more, that he placed his head under other's chin.

"Goodnight." He answered back and both were lying silently, though none of them fell asleep. Kaien embraced Ichigo even tighter, moving his head even closer to his lover's face. "Ichigo?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

**- - -**

**AG-RO-TAG's NOTE!**

**YAY! HURRAY FOR THE REUNION ^^**

**I've figured out that this chapter contains even more cursing than in the rest xD Bad Kuukaku, it's all her fault xD**

**I guess this chapter is even longer than any of my written ones... And it contains a LOVE COMBO xD**

**They're together, so it's the end of "Be here"! MUHAHAHAHAHA!**

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**No, I was just kidding... Wait for more!**

**Hope you liked it ^^**

**And so, I'm really thankful for all reviews I've received! Hope there'll be more in the future!**


	5. Chapter 5

**READ, RATE, REVIEW! Or bring me some cookies!**

„...Whatever it is, as long as you're here it doesn't matter..."

_'I love you.'_

Three words and so much happiness. So many obligations, but even more pleasure. How could he end his first day in Tokyo better than that? There was no way, Ichigo thought.

_'I-I love you, too...'_

After repeating those words both boys couldn't just simply fall asleep, they really had to celebrate the new commitment. Then it was called 'sex', now it is called 'making love'. And so, they were making love almost whole night, saying how they really needed each other and how they wanted to be together. Bliss was overwhelming and happiness of the moment felt like ages. If he had a chance, he would stop the feeling for a little longer. Even for more than the eternity.

_'Please, don't ever leave me again... Be here, with me...'_

The day number 2. The morning sun was blinding his tanned eyelids, forcing them to uncover his chocolate eyes and face up to the new day. Ichigo was too scared to wake up. He was afraid that everything what happened between his old friend and him was just a cruel joke from his desperate imagination and that he was just sitting in the train, being on his way to Tokyo. If what he thought was truth, then he would immediately kill himself. But the first signs of awakening were indicating well. The place wasn't moving, so he couldn't be inside the train. He felt really soft and warm, so he couldn't be sitting on chair. He was naked, so he just couldn't be outside... To his relief, he was in his room in the Urahara hotel. And, even more relieving, he wasn't in his bed alone. Right beside him was lying his sleeping beauty, Shiba Kaien. His face was serene with lips slighty parted and closed eyes, showing long eyelashes. Ichigo knew staring at someone is a bad thing, but ignoring such a wonderful view would be a crime. Probably Kaien felt someone staring at him, because he wriggled a little and moved even closer to the orange head, searching for the tanned shoulder. When he finally found it, he snuggled into it and gave a small smile through his sleep. Not only gorgeous, but also cute and a faint blush appeared Ichigo's face. The orange boy moved his head and placed the gentlest kiss he could ever make on his lover's forehead. Kaien whined softly, his eyes slowly opening and exposing two orbs in color of the clearest sea Ichigo could only imagine. Sleepy Kaien was even more adorable than sleeping form.

"Good morning, Kaien." He whispered into the other's ear and kissed one of sleepy eyes. A normal Ichigo probably would never act so affectionate like now, but it seemed love can change people dramatically. Kaien sighed, moving further into tanned arms and hugging his lover.

"Mornin', Ichi." The voice was filled with sleep leftovers. Ichigo couldn't help, but chuckle at the cute sight and he even ignored the nickname, which normally was too unnerving for him

"How do you feel?" The question showed a pure concern, having on mind the number of their love-making and that Kaien was the one, who was in big pain. The black haired chuckled at Ichigo's out-of-character behavior and kissed him on lips.

"I remember better times." Although he could feel inside really sore, he smiled warmly. "But it's nothing I can't handle." Ichigo nodded, still holding the other tightly. "You'd better get up, I must take a shower."

"Then take it later, I'm not letting you go anywhere." He growled and tightened his embrace.

"Oh no, you're going to make breakfast while I'm going to take a shower, understood?" Ichigo wanted to complain, but when he felt a dark aura around his lover, he decided to let him go and get up. Firstly, he got worried, because the fridge was empty and it came back to his mind, that he still hadn't gone shopping. But then he recalled a big pack with food that Yuzu gave him for his trip. Well, he was saved. He opened the bag and found roasted chicken, lots of sandwiches with different ingirdients, whole apple pie and 2 liters of orange juice. Lovely Yuzu, always remembering about his big brother's appetite (though, normally Ichigo would be able to eat all of that after a week). Ichigo took out sandwiches and juice, the rest would be for lunch. Just when he prepared everything, Kaien entered the kitchen, fully clothed and refreshed. He looked up and down Ichigo's body and chuckled loudly, making the other look surprised. "Hmm, such a sight will definitely make my day." He grinned broadly.

"Huh? What do you mean?" He frowned, Kaien now laughing at his partner's naivety.

"I mean I didn't know you like to prepare breakfast... naked." Ichigo blushed furiously, trying to hide all his exposed private parts. How could he forget about clothes? Kaien laughed even louder at the scene and Ichigo rushed out of the room, quickly trying to find something he could put on. A pair of dark jeans, white plain shit, new boxers and that was enough. He went back to the dinning (3 in 1) room, where Kaien was waiting patiently and chuckling at his lover's embarrassed face. "You know, I really wouldn't mind that, if it made you feel comfortable."

"SHUT UP!" He got red again and sat near the table, facing Kaien. "Don't you dare to recall it." His lover laughed at the threatening tone and started to eat his sandwich. The last night was surely one of the best he ever spent. It seemed that he was an official gay, but he didn't mind that, as long as he was able to stay with Ichigo. Kaien recalled that he didn't phone his parents yesterday, but maybe they assumed he stayed at Ichigo's. Well, they probably didn't imagine him and his best friend doing IT all night and confessing. How the heck he was going to explain this to mom and dad? The last time, when Kuukaku confessed she had gone bisexual, dad almost fained and mom lost her tongue. Now their oldest, lovely son was gay. And with Ichigo. They might get a heart attack... "Hey, are you really alright?"

"Huh?" Kaien woke up from his brainstorm and blinked a few times. "Ah... I'm just thinking about parents. I should call them." Ichigo nodded, knowing that Kaien wasn't only thinking about making a call. "Say, Ichi... How did your family react, when you told them you're gay?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"...Umm..." Ichigo put down his half-eaten sandwich and made a confused face. He inhaled deeply and was about to say something, when a cheerful ring tone showed up and drew boys' attention. The black head sighed in frustration and stood up to pick up his mobile phone from a nightstand. He looked at the screen. 'KIYONE'. _'Jesus Christ, what now?' _Kaien thought in irritation and answered the incoming call.

"Hello?" Reluctantly, he asked. Ichigo decided to not make any noise and listen carefully to the conversation.

"Kaien! Where the hell are you!" The girl's voice was so loud, that Kaien had to move the phone far away from his ear. Even the orange head winced at high level of volume. "I've been phoning everyone! Aizen, Miyako, even Ganjyu and Kuukaku! Nobody has the hell idea where have you disappeared yesterday!"

"Ah, that thing... Well, I..." His sea orbs looked questioningly at Ichigo, silently seeking for any help. The other shrugged. "I... Actually, I've met my old childhood friend yesterday."

"You mean that blindingly orange-haired guy, who was with you, when you left the Center?"

"Yeah, how did you know that?"

"Just when Sentarou and I were approaching the entrance, we saw you and that guy leaving the building. Did you spent with him WHOLE night?"

"Yep~!" Kaien answered carelessly, giving one of his usual big smiles. "We haven't seen each other for 3 years, so WHOLE night we were **talking**. Is that so strange?" Ichigo blushed furiously at the accented word, accompanied by a wink from Kaien's side. They surely talked, though without words.

"No, though you could bring him to the party!" Kiyone's voice seemed quite annoyed, yet not showing any potential suspicions. "Uh, I really can't understand you. Anyway, Sentarou and I want to see you somewhere around 3 p.m. in the Club Cafe. We have some info from the party!" Kaien sighed, knowing that no matter what he said, nothing could fight against her friend's declaration. "If you want, you can bring that guy with you!"

"Alright, if you insist..." Reluctantly, but said. It was morning, so afternoon was far away and he had lots of time with Ichigo. "We'll be there later."

"Good! And, Kaien..."

"Hmm?"

"...Is that friend... Has he got any girlfriend?" The question from the girl made his brain stop for a moment, before a wave of laughter overwhelmed him. The orange-haired looked at him, freaked out, not completely getting what the speaker said. "Are you making fun of me! Fine! I won't ask you anymore, mororn!" And so the line died, leaving the silent mobile phone and painfully laughing black-haired boy.

"Hey, are you...?" Before he could end his question, the answer came quickly. Of course Kaien was alright. It was normal of him to laugh like a madman for no reason.

"Gahah... Sorry, I just couldn't stop." He calmed down, wiping remains of joy tears. "My friends would love to meet you, so we'll be going in the afternoon to the Club Cafe. Hope you don't mind going with me?"

"It's alright, I guess."

"Don't worry, they're more normal than me." _'After witnessing your conversation, I don't think so...' _"Besides, some of our old friends from High School also moved to Tokyo! So far I've met Rangiku-san, Rukia, Ishida, Inoue-chan and... um..."

"Renji, I guess?" Ichigo ended the sentence. He knew that Renji was coming. The red-haired, tattooed ex-boyfriend even wanted to come along with Ichigo, but the other refused.

"Yeah. Anyway, back to our earlier topic. So what your dad said? And others?" _'There we go, again.' _Ichigo hummed, thinking about the proper answer.

"Well... I didn't told him." Kaien quirked his brow. "He actually figured it out himself. So Yuzu and Karin. When they asked me if it was true, I didn't deny. Later, dad came to my room and gave me a little talk about 'Safe Gay Sex'..." Ichigo's face fell and Kaien chuckled at the imagination of super-serious Isshin, trying to talk about birds and bees. "Girls said that they would still love me anyway. In short, nothing changed."

"Huh... Then you got lucky, I guess."

"I don't think you'll be any worse."

"Oh, you're wrong. My parents actually have a slight homophobia."

"They do? How do you know that?"

"Nah, I doesn't matter for now." Kaien waved at Ichigo, showing how much he didn't want this conversation to go on. Ichigo huffed, concentrating more on chewing his sandwich. Breakfast passed by in complete silence, though there was no awkwardness. Finishing all food, Ichigo took all empty plates and started washing them. Suddenly, the other's arms wrapped around his shoulders, surprising him to the point he almost dropped a plate.

"T-The heck, Kaien!" The orange haired squeaked, but calmed down after feeling the embrace tightening. "What are you doing?" Ichigo turned his face, trying to hide a visible blush. Chuckling was heard near his ear and something was put on his shoulder.

"Giving you a hug." Kaien snuggled his face into the tanned neck. "I'm really happy that we've met. And that you're here." A small hint of pink covered his cheeks, but, to his advantage, Ichigo wasn't looking at him, embarrassed by his own blushing. Ichigo sighed, nervousness washing him all over. He shouldn't be that embarrassed, after all they were in established relationship. So whatever he wanted to do with him was right... _'Can I really do anything?' _Ichigo turned around and faced his now-lover. Grabbing his waist, he switched their positions, forcing Kaien to sit on cupboard. The sea-eyed boy was purely shocked by the other's action, seeing how the other was leaning closer and putting a gentle kiss. When his brain processed his current position, his lips already moved back and arms were wrapped around the tanned neck. They were kissing tenderly and it gradually changed into something hotter. Ichigo wanted so badly to feel Kaien's mouth, so he nipped on his lower lip, asking silently for more. Kaien chuckled through the kiss and gave me what the orange wanted. The tongue roamed whole space inside his mouth, occasionally colliding with the other one and battling for dominance. Kaien's slender hands moved up to Ichigo's hair and their kiss deepened. The feeling of his palms, strongly grabbing orange locks, was sending them over the edge of self-control. Ichigo was aroused enough to shut his ears to every complaint from his mind, but he knew there was a moment to stop. Reluctantly, they parted, leaving both flushed and panting. After they calmed down, a smile of satisfaction showed on Kaien's face as he looked up and confronted his mesmerizing sea eyes with Ichigo's strong brown ones. "Seems like you're glad as well." Ichigo nodded, but his face didn't show any pleasant emotions. His look was sad and full of guilt. Kaien's smile also faded away, seeing how his boyfriend changed mood. Few moments passed, when the orange head decided to hide his face in the crook of Kaien's neck.

"I'm sorry... For all those years..." The shiver ran through the black-haired boy's spine, when he heard such an apology. Kaien couldn't help but sigh. It was expected, after he acted like he didn't mind. But it was wrong. He DID mind. After how Ichigo treated him and his feelings in the last month of being in Karakura; after how Ichigo ignored him when he moved away and didn't share even a single word with him during those 3 years. He was still mad. "I'm really sorry, Kaien..." Yet, he couldn't force himself to look angry. The sight of ashamed Ichigo was disarming him completely.

"The past is the past. It can't be changed." Kaien put his left hand on the orange head, slowly caressing bright hair. "I'm still angry at you for being an asshole, but I'm also happy that you came and didn't ignore me." Ichigo hummed, grip tightening around Kaien's waist. "I wish we could be here just like that, everyday."

"I promise I will." Ichigo claimed, but Kaien shook his head and brought the other's face to his.

"Don't promise me. Just do it or try, alright?" Aquamarine orbs shined with hope and warm emotion, encouraging Ichigo. His mind was only set on his boyfriend. _'I want only him.' _He put a small and tender kiss on other's lips, assuring that he's already been fulfilling the wish. The guilt wasn't washed away completely, but he felt a lot better after Kaien's comforting words. "And who has horrible mood swings, hmm?" After kissing Kaien chuckled, sending a new wave of embarrassment to his lover.

"Shut up..." Ichigo grumbled, hiding his face in the other's chest. His lover laughed softly and ruffled orange hair, quietly indicating to let him go.

"By the way, my friends saw us yesterday." Ichigo looked up, mildly alarmed by the info. His expression seemed silly to Kaien, so he couldn't hold back a chuckle. "I think Kiyone got attracted by you."

"...huh?"

~~~~~~AFTERNOON~~~~~~

The time both boys had alone had to end, after all. Ichigo was forced to go shopping, since there was nothing at home. He needed to equip his bathroom, kitchen and buy spare towels, sheets and clothes. Of course, Kaien was always accompanying him, talking about what happened during those years of distance and that wasn't always depressive stuff. Ichigo learned that Kaien was the best in entrance exams to Art Academy and that one of the professors, Joushiro Ukitake, had already seen a potential for being a rising star in the world of Art. He also got pretty popular in his former High School in Tokyo, where he was forced to be the President of Student Council. Fortunately, Miyako was there with him, so he didn't have that much of a hard time. Miyako...

"Kaien, what about you and Miyako?" Just when they were passing by shelves with kitchen equipment, Ichigo recalled Kaien's girlfriend (well, maybe ex for now). The raven-haired blinked at him a few times and scratched his neck in thought.

"Ah... We kind of broke up, as you may assumed." Ichigo blinked, waiting for an explanation. "You see, when we moved out, I couldn't bring myself to act normally. I was still kind of sad because of you. I thought that maybe if I was with Miyako longer, I'd be able to forget everything what happened. But I couldn't and she started to get suspicious about me and you." Kaien took a deep breath and continued his story. "After a year of being here she asked me if I loved her. It'd be cruel of me if I lied that I did. She didn't say anything and we both decided to be friends. Everything was fine, until she started to ask about me and you. Even though I didn't tell her too much, she figured out herself that I love you."

"Looks like she was cleverer than you." Ichigo admitted, slowly reaching for the pack of cutlery.

"I've never thought she was stupider than me, Ichigo." Kaien smirked, looking through completes of glasses. "Her level of intelligence was really worth my admiration. However, yours..."

"My what?" Ichigo glared dangerously.

"Nothing." Kaien grinned, putting some towels into trolley. "I love you just the way you are."

"Are you telling me I'm stupid?"

"I've never said that~!"

"Why you..."

"KAIEEEN!" Both boys froze when all of the sudden a girlish voice showed up from behind. Turning around they saw two people: a short girl with light-brown hair and over-colorful clothes and a tanned guy with black hair and quite old-fashioned looks. "Boy, am I glad to meet you here!" The girl suddenly jumped at Kaien and almost made him fall on the ground. "We were supposed to meet in 2 hours. What a coincidence that we're here!"

"Yeah, nice to see you too, Kiyone. Sentarou." Kaien greeted both newcomers and was set free from the death glomp of the girl. Ichigo chuckled inwardly, seeing how affectionate friends did Kaien have. But something disturbed him. It was a guy, tall, brown haired/eyed man with black glasses, that was slowly approaching their group. He was smiling politely at Kaien's direction. "Oh, Souske-sempai? You're here, too?" Ichigo's mind twitched, when he saw aquamarine orbs shining with an unknown joy from the sight of so-called Souske. Deep inside, a small jealousy started to form.

"I just happened to walk by, when I heard Kiyone-chan calling your name, Kaien-kun." The glassed man spoke, giving the orange boy creeps for some reason. The voice was deep. And suspicious.

"Hey! I'm not that loud!" The girl whined and stepped back from the raven haired boy.

"Of course you're not. You're as cute as always, Kiyone-chan." Aizen made a prince-like face, making Kiyone melt from the handsome sight. "Anyway, Kaien-kun, I was quite disappointed not to see you yesterday at the party."

"Yeah, something came up and I had no time. Ah, that's right!" Kaien blinked at the sudden realization. He walked to the forgotten orange boy and wrapped his arm around the other's shoulders. "Everyone, this is Kurosaki Ichigo, my dear friend from Karakura." Ichigo made a face of confusion, when suddenly 3 pairs of eyes landed on him, scanning every inch of his body. Kiyone was mostly staring at his face, the sight of him formed a small blush on her cheeks. Sentarou guy blinked a few times and looked at Kiyone. Seeing her interested in Ichigo made the black haired guy look at him with jealousy. The last one, Souske, eyed him thoroughly from head to his toes. Ichigo noticed how the face of the glassed man changed from kind to annoyed, when Kaien embraced him while introducing.

"H-Hello..." Ichigo stuttered timidly, not liking the feeling of being the center of interest. The first one, who stepped closer, was the black headed guy. He drew his hand in front of Ichigo's face.

"Kotsubaki Sentarou." Ichigo took the hand and shook it in a friendly manner. Maybe that guy won't be that bad. The next was the short girl.

"I'm really happy to meet you, Ichigo-kun! My name is Kotetsu Kiyone and I'd love to know you better, 'cause you seem like a very nice guy to me!" The eager welcome speech was ended with a strong hug from the girl's side. Ichigo could almost feel his insides screaming for mercy. From behind, he could hear a small chuckle. Kaien was definitely having fun. The last to approach was the tall, brown-haired male, Kaien's sempai.

"Aizen Souske. Nice to meet you, Kurosaki-kun." Ichigo nodded, not sure whether to ignore the strange, cold feeling Aizen was giving him or to get freaked out. The piercing look from behind glasses suddenly turned away from the tanned face and softened while looking at Kaien. "By the way, Kaien-kun, have you prepared anything for the next project?" Ichigo quirked a brow, suddenly feeling as being a nuisance to the seemingly older male. _'I don't think I'll get along with this guy...' _

"I have some materials left at home. But still, I don't think this idea is good." Kaien answered, smiling widely at his sempai. "We should think it over, again."

"True. There's no time left, so we have to be quick. How about we'll meet at my place tonight?" Ichigo shivered at Aizen's unusual question. He wasn't so much confused about the things they were talking (he had no the hell idea), but such a direct proposition made him really angry. He didn't care if this high and mighty Aizen was Kaien's friend or something, it just wasn't right.

"Hmm, sounds ok to me. I'll come to you at 7 p.m." Kaien said with a thought in his voice, making the orange boy even more confused than before. Now he really needed to talk to Kaien. Privately. "Guys, I know we've just met, but Ichigo and I have still some things to do. We'll meet at the right hour at the Club Cafe, alright?" To everyone's, except Ichigo's, displeasure, both boys left the small group of Kaien's friends. Even though they were backing away, the orange haired could feel a cold gaze on his neck.

"Who the hell was that?" Ichigo couldn't hold it any longer and asked. Annoyance shown in his voice made his boyfriend look in confusion.

"Who the hell was who?"

"That glass eyed, freaking out guy."

"You mean Souske-sempai?" Kaien couldn't completely understood why Ichigo's attitude to his friend was so weird.

"Yes, that one."

"He was the first person I've met when I moved to Tokyo. Thanks to him I wasn't so confused with living in this concrete jungle." Kaien laughed, recalling some memories of him and Souske. "He's one year older and we went to the same High School, also to the Art Club. He's now in the Art Academy, the same I want to go. Through those 3 years we've been hanging out almost every day or spending our time together at home. You can say that we are pretty close friends." The last sentence made Ichigo's mood fall down. _'It was almost like you and me back in Karakura...' _Kaien added in his thoughts, knowing that it wouldn't be wise to say it out loud.

"So he's an important person to you?" Ichigo asked bitterly.

"You can say that." Kaien looked at Ichigo's saddened face and a small smile formed on his lips. "Though not as important as you." The sentence snapped Ichigo out of his depressive thoughts and he looked at Kaien, only to see a small blush and a big smile on his gorgeous face. In fact, Kaien perfectly knew what was going on. Ichigo was simply jealous. "Do we have everything?" Their attention was brought to the half-packed trolley.

"We don't have the most important." Ichigo claimed.

"What?"

"Food."

"So let's go, we don't have much time." Ichigo nodded and they looked for the rest stuff. The time went quickly and it was already past 3 p.m. Both boys had to hurry up, leave everything in Ichigo's flat and run to the Club Cafe. As expected, everyone were annoyed by the late arrival. Everyone meant Kiyone, Sentarou, Aizen and a few unexpected, old faces: Orihime, Rukia, Ishida, Chad and Rangiku. Old classmates roared in joy at the sight of Ichigo (except Ishida. He was happy, but to be so hyper about it? Nuh-uh.). Thought they were more pleased by the fact that both he and Kaien were back to being friends.

"What are all of you doing here?" Ichigo asked, surprised.

"Idiot, we came here to study, just like you." Rukia answered in her over-polite manner, annoying Ichigo at instant. "Plus, Kaien-dono asked us to come here. Now I know why." She smirked and the orange haired glared at Kaien, who acted as if he did nothing. Nevertheless, Ichigo was also happy to see everyone. At least he wouldn't be forced to sit with only friends of Kaien. The meeting was carrying on. Talking, laughter, recalling old memories, everything could be heard from their table. The most uneasy moment was when Orihime asked Ichigo and Kaien about the cause of distancing themselves. None of them wanted to answer properly, saying only that it was a private matter, which was solved for now. The topic was dropped and everyone came back to their careless attitude. Suddenly, a music was played loudly and Rangiku decided to dance, so she dragged Kaien with her. No sooner, Orihime, Ishida, Kiyone and Sentarou followed. Rukia excused herself, going to the bathroom. Only Ichigo, Aizen and Chad were left near the table. Ichigo observed his secret lover how he danced with the big-breasted friend. A moment later, Chad also disappeared from the table. There was a moment of silence before a forced coughing drew Ichigo's attention to Souske.

"Happy, isn't he?" Aizen asked, looking at the smiling aquamarine eyed boy on the dance floor. "I don't think I've ever seen him so happy before. I guess it's because of you." His eyes landed on Ichigo.

"Probably." Ichigo shrugged, not completely happy by the way the last sentence was said venomously.

"Isn't it surprising how one person can control other's feelings?" Aizen was sitting now fully in front of Ichigo, staring at him almost painfully. "At first you made him so miserable and depressed and, in no time, you gave him happiness and joy. Isn't it interesting?" Ichigo swallowed, unsure of Aizen's further actions towards him. "And here you are, shamelessly going to Tokyo, meeting him, sitting here and claiming yourself a great friend of Kaien-kun."

"I didn't meet him on purpose. We've bumped into each other." He growled.

"Ha! So you weren't even concerned about him, at all." The glass-eyed man smirked when he saw a confused face of Ichigo mixed with a building up anger. "3 years of being with him. 3 years of comforting him, spending time with him, listening to all his problems and solving them. I've been with him all the time, especially when he was deeply hurt by you." Ichigo made a shocked face. "Yes, I know almost everything about you. You were the topic No. 1 through the first year, when he cried. I also know how **affectionate **you became with him." Ichigo clenched his fists, trying to control himself. He couldn't just beat up the guy. Not when he's Kaien's friend. _'He's a bastard, not a friend...' _"Yet he didn't mind you hurting him. But I still could see how hollow he was. And it was ME to comfort him."

"Well, thanks for all of it. Kaien doesn't need your babysitting anymore." Ichigo huffed, wishing silently for someone to come to the table, so the talk could be interrupted. _'Jesus Christ, Kaien, what kind of twisted friends do you have?'_

"Oh, I don't think so. Sooner or later he'll come back to me, eventually." Aizen laughed darkly while standing up. "Now, if you excuse me, I'd like to join the others." Ichigo quirked a brow at sudden change of appearance, when he felt someone behind him. It was Chad. _'Thank God...' _Ichigo thanked inwardly when his Mexican friend sat near him, forcing Souske to leave the table.

"Who was he?" Chad asked quickly and without emotions.

"One of Kaien's creepy friends, the creepiest of them all." Ichigo stated, still troubled by the earlier conversation.

"He gives a bad feeling." The Mexican claimed, humming in the meantime. Ichigo agreed. Aizen was probably one of those toxic guys, being all cute and friendly only at the beginning. And after what the other said, Ichigo had doubts if Souske's 'friendship' with Kaien would bring him any good.

"Chad, remember when I told you about me and Kaien, back in the 1st grade?" Actually, Chad was the only one aware of Ichigo's attraction towards Kaien, since he was the only guy, who could keep his mouth shut. At the question the other only hummed positively. "He kind of... likes me back... now." As expected, only humming was heard. Ichigo looked at the other, noticing how the other looked at him. Eyes were full of surprise, but nothing else showed up. "You think he'll forgive me someday? For hurting him?" Chad made a thoughtful hum.

"He probably will." Chad answered. Ichigo only sighed, doubting he'll be able to do it. "You need to be careful." He nodded, knowing perfectly why the Mexico friend had in mind. Just when he was told that, Aizen was dancing dangerously close to his Kaien, occasionally touching him or holding. Right.

_'I really have to be careful...' _

**AG-RO-TAG's NOTE!**

**Inspiring song - "The Hives – It won't be long"**

**Special info to Allan Caldeini: I hope I fulfilled your wish :D No need to beg me, next time xD And don't worry, this story won't end that fast ;]**

**Wow, long time, no see.**

**At some point I had difficulties with ending this chapter, I got stuck with the breakfast scene for almost 3 months! Plus, not to mention, my final exams were on my way.**

**BUT THEY'RE FINISHED! I don't have to worry about them! My grades are also quite good xD**

**So I have so much of a free time to write :D Though I really need more inspiration xD**

**Widening the plot! Ichigo and Kaien are in established relationship (though still to unsure to tell about it). Kaien has homophobic parents! And a really creepy friend (snicker), who has a CERTAIN purpose (double snicker). What will happen next? I don't know myself xD Actually, when I write my stories, I don't have any earlier plans or something xD I'm writing what comes to my mind.**

**Hope you liked it :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**READ AND REVIEW!**

"...And I don't want you to misunderstand..."

It was around 7 p.m. The Club Cafe started to get crowded and everyone where giving themselves into the enchanting music from loud speakers and the odd power of alcohol overdose. All Ichigo's and Kaien's friends were pretty drunk themselves, though, to the orange head's irritation, Aizen Souske, not-so-friendly close friend of his lover, was completely sober. He was always following Kaien, whether he went to dance or to the bathroom or just sit near the table. Ichigo sighed, knowing the other didn't mind the pushy company of his sempai. He probably got used to it a long time ago, during those 3 years of 'rainbow friendship'. Ichigo made a disgusted face at the thought. Just when he was taking another sip of his Cola, he noticed a sudden closeness of Kaien and Aizen and it seemed like the first wanted to say something. The brown head nodded a few times and went to the cloak room, while Kaien left the crowd and sat next to Ichigo with a big smile on his face.

"That was surely fun! We should come here more often!" Kaien laughed, completely ignoring the annoyed look Ichigo was giving at the Aizen's direction. "You should move your ass, Ichigo!"

"I don't feel like dancing." Ichigo claimed, making his secret boyfriend pout. He turned his eyes to the aquamarine gaze and made a small smile (which for Kaien is a rare sight!). "I like watching you dancing better." The sentence made the other softly blush, as he chuckled and playfully hit Ichigo's arm. The orange also chuckled, but blushed when he felt the other's breath tickling his ear.

"Then next time I'll dance only for you. When we are alone." At the lust-filled whisper Ichigo got furiously red and instantly picked up his glass. Taking a big gulp, he breathed nervously as he felt Kaien's lips giving a small kisses along his neck. When he felt an odd sensation near the sensitive spot behind his ear, he squeaked, making his lover laugh and stop his action. "Unfortunately, I have to leave for now. Souske-sempai and I have to work on our project." Ichigo huffed and his scowl deepened. He thought that Kaien forgot about it, being too occupied with the fun. And that would mean he won't come back with him for a night. _'This sucks... Stupid Aizen.' _Ichigo breathed heavily and nodded reluctantly. "Don't make a face like that~! This shouldn't take me too long. I'll be back somewhere around midnight." Ichigo blinked and sighed in relief. So he wasn't intending to sleep with that two-faced moron...

"Then I'll be waiting." He answered and placed a small kiss on other's lips. "But don't you dare to be late."

"I won't." Kaien looked around, probably in fear that somebody could see him and Ichigo being so close. Everyone were too busy with themselves, so it was alright. He smiled for the last time and walked towards the entrance, where Aizen was holding his and his own bag. They laughed at something and both disappeared behind the door. Well, everything became lonely to Ichigo. He looked at the clock and decided to call it a day, when somebody grabbed his arm and dragged him to the less crowded space. It was one of Kaien's friends, Kiyone. She didn't look too good. Well, at least not too sober.

"K-Kiyone-san?" Ichigo quirked a brow at the sight of smashed up girl. _'Wait, hadn't Kaien told me that she was attracted by me?' _The though gave him creeps and he backed away. Very slowly.

"Nice party, ne~?" The short girl laughed and took a sip form probably empty can of beer, which she was holding from the beginning. "Too bad boys left us. But, after all, they have their lovey-dovey matters~!" The sentence made Ichigo blink in confusion.

"What 'lovey-dovey' matters?"

"Wha~? You didn't notice, man~? Look at them! Aizen-sempai has always been beside Kaien, no matter what happened. And Kaien feels so comfortable with him! And their eyes are shining every time they're together. Through all those 3 years, I'm telling you~! I bet they're secret lovers~!" Of course, Kiyone said a lot more, but that was the most understandable part of her speech, that Ichigo caught. "I swear to my socks, the most handsome guys are always gay. Hiccup!" And with that statement she left Ichigo alone, accidentally falling into Sentarou's arms and dancing in slow rhythm. Well, this was strange. This was totally strange. Kaien and Aizen? No, it couldn't be right. Kaien wouldn't be with Ichigo if he was with Aizen. But then, it would mean... What, Aizen would be attracted to Kaien? Ichigo paled at the thought. Paled and got angry at the same time. _'This theory would fit. Fuck, it would fit like hell!' _Deeper scowl came to his face. There was no way he would let that two-faced son of a bitch take advantage of Kaien.

~~~~~~AIZEN'S APARTAMENT~~~~~~

"Doesn't it look too simple?" The sea-eyed boy whined while looking at the sheet of paper with a drawn project on it. It was a strange composition of geometrical shapes, creating a twisted scene of a man and a woman, floating in the air, mixed with water. However it seemed complicated, Kaien and Aizen knew exactly what was shown. "This picture is not good with geometrical abstraction."

"That's all I've come up with, Kaien-kun." The taller man sighed and took away the project from other's hands. "If we want to set it in the right time, then I guess this style would fit the best." Kaien scratched his chin in thought, still not convinced by the conception. "We don't want to confuse the juries, right?"

"I know, but still..." Kaien took the project back and pinned it to the wall. Since the last week this project had become the most difficult task both boys ever challenged. Kaien wanted to do everything right, without any mistakes or weird impressions. He knew Souske was worried as well, seeing how the idea became less and less interesting in his eyes. "I think almost everyone will go with a simple abstractive style. Either geometrical or organic. We have to think about something else."

"But what else would fit? Those times were mostly about bizarre stuff. And strange squares and lines." Aizen whined, though he knew that Kaien was too stubborn to give up that easily. He'd find all sorts of solutions for the problem, even if it would mean his death.

"Maybe we should make it surreal?" An idea showed up in his mind, too good to be ignored. Souske looked at him in surprise, making his friend smile in determination.

"Surreal?"

"Yeah! Like Salvador Dali, Max Ernst or Yves Tanguy. With this style we'd be able to interest the juries."

"But wouldn't it be too time-consuming? We won't end it." Aizen tried to fight against the idea, but Kaien's face of excitement and fresh ideas made him doubt. "Besides, surrealism is a very precise and hard work. And, considering how big we want to make it, it's impossible."

"Nah, you're seeing everything from the dark side." Kaien came closer to sempai and wrapped arm around his shoulders. "And you forgot that you and I are pretty good with realism, so surrealism won't be that hard, too." Aizen narrowed his eyes, still unsure about the whole idea. "Come on~! Pretty please?" The sight of his friend, making a cute puppy look with his big and shining aquamarine eyes, forced the older boy to sigh and give up.

"I really can't understand you." Souske laughed and put his hand on the other's head, ruffling it.

"Nah, I'm just irresistible." Kaien laughed back and sat on the sofa, glad that his plan would soon come to life.

"No, you're just taking the advantage of me being too kind, Kaien-kun." Aizen joined Kaien on sofa.

"That too." Both of them laughed and started their usual talk about everything and nothing. Kaien was really happy, that he won't go to the Art Academy alone, that he'd have at least Souske-sempai with him. The other also couldn't complain. _'Since Ichigo's arrival, everything has finally started to look up!' _The black haired boy thought, while drawing another project, this time in surreal style. When he was reaching the end, a clock rang 11 times in a row. He read the position of hands. It was 11 p.m.

"Something happened?" Aizen asked when he saw his friend not working.

"A-Ah, nothing. It's just that I have to check the time, I'm supposed to go before the midnight." Kaien smiled reassuringly and came back to his work.

"What? You're not staying here?"

"Nope. Sorry, but not this time." The older only nodded, eyes suddenly darkening. It'd never happened that Kaien willingly come back home. And if he did, then he'd tell it right away. There must have been another reason. Aizen thought a little, before the answer came. A very annoying answer.

"You're going to Kurosaki-kun at this hour?" He questioned and observed the other's reaction. Out of nowhere, at the sound of that name, Kaien softly blushed, but it was obvious he wanted to hold it back. "Am I right?"

"Y-Yeah..." This time the blush was released, spreading at great speed and deepening. That reaction didn't please Souske, at all. He knew there was something between those two, just by the way both looked at each other. "It's not a b-big deal, really." Kaien scratched his head nervously.

"I won't force you to talk if you don't want to, Kaien-kun." Souske put down the scrapbook Kaien was holding and took the other's chin to turn at him. "But I'd rather you didn't hide anything serious from me. No 2.: Say anything and I'll listen to it, remember our rule?" Kaien nodded, smiling softly at the memory of making up the rules. It happened at the very beginning of their friendship, when Aizen wanted so badly to befriend the black-haired boy. Thanks to that rule Kaien told him almost everything about his life. Of course, he had to pay back and did the same, but the rule was more helpful for Kaien to open up in times of confusion and depression.

"Well..." He bit on his bottom lip, uncertain of Aizen's reaction. "The thing is..." He made a few deep breaths, hesitating to say anything. "Ichigo... uh... About Ichigo... Remember when I told you about him for the first time?" Aizen nodded instantly. "I wasn't completely honest with you." He dropped his look, ashamed to face his friend directly. "When that evening he jumped at me and... you know... I didn't dislike it." He looked from the corner of his eye at the other, probably dumbstruck at the strange confession. Yet, he didn't say anything. "In fact, I made me think if I was or not attracted by Ichigo. But I made a huge mistake. I negated my feelings, trying to convince myself that I don't like men and that Ichigo is still my friend. This couldn't go any longer and Ichigo pushed me away." Kaien laughed a little, covering his face with one hand. The other, surprisingly, was taken by Souske in a comforting gesture. "When I realized that I want to be with him, my parents told me that we were supposed to move. Nevertheless I tried to tell Ichigo about my... love... but it was definitely too late." Kaien uncovered his face, showing its nearly crying state, when a cheerful smile appeared. "But after those years he found me. I don't care if he wanted or not. I was still wanted by him and that mattered only." Kaien laughed, but stopped immediately. He looked at his companion, whose face wasn't readable at all. Kaien swallowed, not knowing what the other was thinking. "I'm sorry if I burdened you with this story. You probably think I'm weird or something."

"I don't think that I would talk to you if you weren't weird." Aizen laughed and squeezed the other's hand. From his face it seemed that he didn't mind it at all, so Kaien breathed out all the air he was holding, fully relieved. However, it was just a facade. Inwardly, the older male was disturbed. "But I'm quite... shocked... by the fact that you're with him."

"He he... Well, I didn't predict it either." Kaien laughed, but was abruptly interrupted.

"No, I don't meant in that way. What I thought was... Didn't he hurt you? You let him be with you just like that?"

"I..." The talk became confusing. Suddenly, million thoughts were running through the black head. Surely, if two days ago he was more rational than emotional, then he would play it in other way. He wouldn't let himself fall into Ichigo's arms that easily. _'__I've been telling myself that if I happen see your fucking face, I'll just pretend you're a complete stranger and ignore you... I'd probably do that.' _Kaien shook his head at the reminiscence from the day before. "I haven't forgiven him for what he did. And he knows that." Aizen quirked his brow. "Some time has to pass, before I'd be able not to think about it. However..." He looked at the brown eyes with a flashing determination and hope. "We'd been together for long enough before my departure to know that he won't do that again."

"And what if the same scenario repeats?" Aizen was slowly losing his patience. There must have been something, that would make Kaien think badly of Ichigo!

"It won't." Kaien shrugged.

"But hypothetically."

"...then, I guess..." He didn't want to think ill of his lover. But if it was just a hypothesis, then... "...I wouldn't be able to look at him again." Aizen nodded, inwardly glad that there was a hope. He smiled warmly at his friend, wrapping his arms in a tender, almost romantic hug. Kaien blinked at the sudden act of care, but decided to let it go.

"If you're happy, then I'm as twice happy." Souske looked from above, giving his large, glowing smile. Kaien narrowed his eyes. There was something wrong with this face. He couldn't read it at all. He had just just a depressive monologue, so why Souske-sempai was smiling so happily? _'No, I doubt it means something. Shit, I'm becoming paranoiac.' _Kaien laughed inwardly at the seemingly stupid thoughts and smiled back at his friend. "Whatever is going to happen to you, remember that I'll always be by your side, Kaien-kun." The raven haired blinked again. This over-kind attitude was too confusing. _'Could he be... Nooo, maybe Souske-sempai is just worried? Paranoia. I really need to see psychologist.' _Kaien scowled at himself. His Sixth sense wasn't deceiving him so far, so what was bothering him?

"Thanks." He answered at the odd confession, trying to free himself from the strong hug. "I'm glad that you're my friend, Souske-sempai." He gave up fighting, letting himself fall into the embrace. Sooner or later, the other will release him for sure.

"Yeah..." He put his hand and started smooth the raven locks. "I'm your friend."

~~~~~~NEXT DAY~~~~~~

It was the beginning of the third day in Tokyo. Time was unstoppable, only a month left to begin the real student life. Ichigo wriggled a little in his bed, consciousness slowly coming back to him. He shivered a little, feeling himself not being covered by the blanket. And that wasn't the only fact he found uncomfortable. The place near him was suspiciously empty and cold. As if nobody even lay with him. He groaned at the hollow place. _'Maybe he stayed with that bastard, after all...' _The thought was bothering him. Didn't Kaien say that he would come back around the midnight? However, he didn't wait and went to sleep. So maybe seeing him sleeping made the other go? _'Wait... I didn't even give him a spare key! Fuck, he's going to be mad...' _The tanned boy started stretching his muscles, preparing himself to wake up and face up to the new day.

"Hey!" Just when he wanted to move, a strange whine appeared from the front. "Shit, I was just about to finish..." His eyes snapped open. "Couldn't you sleep a little longer?"

"K-Kaien!" Ichigo jumped in his bed from shock, seeing his lover sitting near an easel with big format sheet of paper and holding a pencil.

"Who else did you expect? A tooth fairy?" Kaien growled, obviously pissed off at Ichigo. "As promised, I came here before the midnight. And as far as I remember, SOMEONE said he would wait for me." Ichigo sweat-dropped. _'He really is mad...'_ Kaien glared for a moment, before turning his gaze on the paper and drawing some lines.

"Look, I'm sorry. I was quite exhausted and accidentally fell asleep." Ichigo tried to explain his actions, but felt completely ignored as his boyfriend didn't looked beyond the paper. Giving a long sigh, he stood up and moved near Kaien, carefully embracing him, so he wouldn't interrupt in drawing. "Don't be angry. I'll make it up for you." The movements of the hand, holding pencil, stopped and sea eyes landed on the orange haired boy, whose unusual adorable behavior drew the attention.

"Humph." Kaien pouted, not finding any nerves to fight Ichigo's affections. "I'd better be good." His boyfriend chuckled, giving a small kiss on the pale cheek. And hugging tighter. Kaien's glare backed away, not feeling angry anymore. His eyes landed on the picture and a scowl came to his face. "Eh, there's no point in continuing when you're awake..." Ichigo blinked a few times and also turned his face to the picture. The ocher orbs widened in shock. Right in front of him there was an exact, yet small, replica of himself, holding a pillow tightly and sleeping calmly.

"Wow..." Ichigo muttered. Back in the times in Karakura, Ichigo knew Kaien's interest in arts and he saw almost every picture he made. But what was in front of him couldn't be compared to anything. "You surely improved a lot..." Kaien laughed at the compliment.

"I'm still not as good as I'd like to be. Though thanks to Souske-sempai I've learned a few tricks." Ichigo twitched at the sound of the idiotic name.

"I see..." His scowl deepened. That bastard must be also quite talented if Kaien had to learn from HIM. "It reminds me of something. What is this project you to are working on?"

"Huh? I didn't tell you?" Ichigo shook his head in negative response. "We're participating in a contest from the Art Academy. The task is to make a painting, inspired with the style of 20th century. Our will be surreal and big as hell." Kaien explained. "The deadline is in two weeks and our project is quite ambitious, so we have to hurry. Lots of work awaits." His head dropped in depression, thinking how much he's supposed to do. Ichigo hummed and caressed the raven locks.

"Everything will be fine. I'm sure you'll make it on time." However, he felt quite annoyed by the fact, that Kaine would be forced to spend more time with Aizen.

"I hope so... Today I'm meeting Ukitake-sensei to show him our final project. With his approval we'll be able to start our work..." Kaien freed himself from Ichigo's embrace and stretched himself, yawning. "Haah, I didn't get much sleep last night. I'll make some coffee." He went to the small kitchen and picked up a kettle, pouring some water inside. Ichigo observed his lover whole time, from preparing his coffee to taking a big sip and sighing in refreshment. The stare was nailing Kaien's back, so he turned around and locked his sea eyes with the brown ones of his boyfriend. "What?" He smiled, despite the confusion. Ichigo straightened his back and drew himself closer to Kaien, giving a suspicious smirk.

"Nothing particular." He made another step closer and put his hand on a held cup of coffee. "Though actually something goes in my mind. Care to guess what I mean?" The distance was closed immediately.

"I would be really dumb if I didn't know." Kaien smirked as well, wrapping his arms around the tanned neck and drawing his face near the other's ear. "Didn't you have enough of it?" He whispered seductively, slowly tracing his hands down the clothed muscle chest and stopping on the bottom edge of shirt.

"I won't get tired of you that easily." Ichigo lifted his shirt up, leaving him half-naked. The cool, pale fingers traced softly along well-shaped muscles, making the other desire to desperately attack the pale neck, but was harshly pushed away. Giving a questioning look, his eyes met the lust-filled storm inside the sea orbs and a mischievous expression of his lover. Before he could do anything, the pale hand pushed his chest, making him fall on the chair. "What the..." Before he could say anything, Kaien stood in front of him, slowly swung his hips in a slow dance while taking his own shirt sexily. While doing it, the sea eyes never left the body of sitting Ichigo, as if they tried to hypnotize the already fascinated boy. The watcher could feel a strange heat building up within, as the sight of dancing boyfriend was almost enough to make him lose his self-restraint. Just when the short show ended, Kaien slowly approached the chair and sat on Ichigo's lap, still not breaking the eye connection. "Kaien..." Nothing else could escape his lips, when the face of his lover moved near his neck, lips occasionally kissing, biting and sucking on the tanned skin. Ichigo wanted to do something as well, he wanted to grab those black locks and, finally, kiss the other's lips till they'd be deliciously red, but still needy. But something refrained him from moving his hands. He looked behind, finding out that his hands were tied up to the chair with his just-pulled-off shirt. Kaien's grin grew wider. The face of shocked/turned on Ichigo was the most priceless thing he ever saw. But that wasn't enough. He wanted to torture. "AH!" Ichigo moaned loudly, when the other's hand harshly went under his pants, grabbing the forming need and moving slowly. The pants were instantly removed, giving a slight relief to the heated up boy. "K-Kai-Ah!"

"You like that, Ichigo?" Kaien breathed out, satisfied by the sound his love was making. He didn't get any sensible reply, but was rewarded with another long moan. Tied up hands started to move, as if they wanted to set themselves free. Through the moans Kaien caught a whine. "Something's wrong?" The pace was quickened, making full strokes along Ichigo's member. Again, nothing else but moans were heard. The tanned face was covered with a blush, gradually deepening its color to an equal shade of blood. His mouth was parted, sucking for great portions of already hard to reach air, as his veins pulsated rapidly. Ichigo was too much overwhelmed with the sensation, that he didn't notice a tiny flash in aquamarine eyes.

"Aah... AHH...HAA!" All sweet sounds of lust became higher and shorter at the rough sensation below the waist. "K-Aaah-Kai...En...Ah! Mmm'close. Ahh!" Before he could say anything else, Kaien captured his lips in a mind-blowing kiss, violating lips and intruding other's mouth with his tongue. The state he had put Ichigo in, made the orange head completely submissive and on Kaien's mercy. Just by the way Ichigo wasn't the dominating one made Kaien rapidly want to do more, to feel more, to take more. But then, everything stopped. Before Ichigo could finally fall into blissful high and before Kaien could lose his self control, the black haired stopped his hand from any movements. The loss of sensations resulted immediately with a whine, as the strong chocolate eyes slowly opened. "Haa..haa...Kai...?" The gathered heat was too unbearable. He wanted to get rid of it. But, to his surprise, Kaien stood up and walked to his abandoned shirt, quickly dressing up. "Wha-What are you doing?" Ichigo breathed out, flushed from the earlier actions and obviously lost. The expression on his lover's face suddenly changed from lust-thirsty to casual smile.

"I have an appointment with Ukitake-sensei, remember?" Kaien shrugged, picking up all his things and throwing it into the bag. "It'll take me 30 minutes on feet to reach him, so I have to go now." He grinned, obviously enjoying the horrified/heated/shocked/confused face of his tied up lover.

"WHA-!" Ichigo could be a great definition of the term 'mixed feelings', because he himself couldn't tell what was he supposed to do. "WHAT THE HELL? Don't tell me you're going to leave me like that!" It was hard for him to decide, whether he was more worried about him being tied up to the chair or being in a nearly-orgasmic state.

"I'll be late if I don't go now." Kaien grinned innocently, slowly making his way to the flushed orange head. "Besides..." He put his face closer, brushing the tip of nose with the other. "...take it as a punishment for not waiting for me. Good thing Urahara-san was kind enough to let me in or you'd be in bigger trouble." Ichigo grumbled something under his nose, dropping his eyes from shame, while trying to release his hands. "If you hadn't slept on technique lessons, then you shouldn't have problems with undoing this knot." Ichigo blinked in fear. _'Fuck, he'll really leave me here...'_

"Fuck you..." Kaien blinked at the angered sentence of his lover, but laughed hardly afterwards. The way Ichigo was furious made him unbearably adorable. He stopped his laughing and whispered in the tanned ear.

"We can arrange that later... If you are nice." Unsuspecting the seductive reply to his curses, Ichigo quickly came back to the shade of the reddest red, still not calmed down after the earlier teasing.

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" The orange head shouted at his lover. Kaien laughed , slowly disappearing behind the door.

"Bye-bye, my love~!" Kaien winked and sent a kiss through the air, leaving completely the apartament number 15. Oh, how he loved infuriating Ichigo. He could live only for this.

"WAIT! COME BACK, YOU MORON!" The only reply to his cries was a cheerful laugh from the corridor. _'Fuck, he'll pay for it!' _The problem he was dealing with now as the throbbing need and uncomfortably tied up hands. From the view Ichigo could already say, that the knot wasn't something he's met before. To tell the truth, techniques were his most hated subject. Curses were escaping his lips as he tried different methods of untying himself. _'I swear he'll be dead...'_

"H-Hello?" With an insecure knocking, a timid, girlish voice appeared from behind the door. Ichigo froze. _'No shit...' _"I've heard some strange cries. S-Sir?" The door were slowly opening. Ichigo panicked, trying to cover any unwanted flesh exposed. _'God, please, don't let her come inside...' _The owner's assistant, shy Ururu, insecurely stepped into the room, before turning her gaze on the orange haired. "Is everything al-KYAAA!" Her face became redder than tomato as she confronted the proud naked glory of Ichigo. Before the boy could say anything, with a scream of terror, the young hotel keeper ran away. _'This is... fucking... embarrassing...' _Ichigo started to do everything with the knot, afraid that somebody else might come in. Oh irony, actually someone, again, knocked on the door.

"Excuse me, Kurosaki-san? Are there any problems?" _'Fuck! Not hat'n'clogs guy!' _Before Ichigo could say that everything was under control and no need to come, the owner of the hotel, Kisuke Urahara, entered the room, gracefully waving with his green and white fan. However, the man stood in awe as his resident was not only completely naked and tied up to the chair, but also fully... excited. "Ou la la~! Did I interrupt with something~?" Probably not only face, but also whole body, got covered with a blush of embarrassment, as Ichigo pathetically brought his knees up to hide his erection. What Kaien did to him was an ultimate humiliation... Could this day get any worse?

_'I promise I won't fall asleep again...'_

**AG-RO-TAG's NOTE!**

**Ichigo! Don't think the day could get any worse!... Because it might happen, really xDDDD**

**This time I tried to make this chapter Kaien-centered. I also wanted to show you his 'relationship' with Aizen. Seemingly innocent, don't you think? But our great detective Strawberry figured the evil Aizen out! And now he needs to fight for his love!**

**And Kaien is evil xDDDDD Poor Ichigo, even though it's my work, I quite feel sorry for him ;P**

**How will it turn out? Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


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